ending

loady...yes, it really is. cliche or not.

xo

i wonder if i'm strong enough.

thanks guys.

pops, bella turned up around 4am. i was so relieved.

i'm all dry eyed and sleepy and drunk...

yay for work today!

thanks again for the support xo.

*dear m+n

I'm sorry to bump the old thread, but this is the one we wrote in.

ending xo *

dear u,

i miss you so much, and i've been thinking a lot lately about ''the beginning'', so i came here.

it's getting worse and worse.

remember when we were beginning our life together, and everything felt possible?

we tried so hard to sort ourselves out. * so hard.*

now it's just me, and i don't know. i'm useless without you. i haven't laughed in five months.

i miss you. i miss you. i miss you.

i wish you coulda held on a bit longer. things would've worked out. some time.

now, i don't know.

bella discovered she could jump the fence awhile back. i tried to be all dog whisperer, but she was all forlorn, and i couldn't keep it up. tonight, we went out for a smoke and she hasn't come back. it's been a couple of hours. i've walked the blocks around, with no luck yet. i'm really worried, and it's just me here.

remember when we lost curtis? after twenty four hours without him i said i would die if we didn't get him back. i meant it. then the neighbour heard him, and you climbed a tree to rescue him.

i have lost you, and i would do anything, anything to get you back.

neither one of us believed/believes in life after death, so i know it's useless. i wish i did, but i just can't. if it were true, i know i'd have done it. i would have felt it.

i'm sorry i haven't died yet. my body just keeps going, even if i don't want it to.

remember when we first became friends and i was in trouble, and going to hospital, and not going to make it? you made me want to get better. i did it for you, and now you're gone, i don't know who i am, or what to do. like before, but worse.

well, a lot of wine has brought me here. why, when i know you can't hear me, i don't know. but i feel a small bit of the old excitement, the absolute pleasure of falling in love with you, and finding out you loved me back.

i love you. i love you. i love you.

your penelope xo

thanks for coming back, liz xo

anxious, as usual

lax, i thought the same thing with the new swans stuff...

slacks, thank you. i hope you're okay too xo

jose, also thank you xo

thanks guys xo

dearest adm

i need to send you this birthday wish, even though i know you won't see it.

you should be thirty today.

you should be home with us.

i miss you so much i feel sick all the time.

please, i want to tell you i love you. i love you forever.

birthday adm.

love from ending xo

holy shite!

took me a season or two to really get into this show, but then....

can't wait for season five!