TigerDove

It's the response to having ones dignity taken away.

The worst thing about this whole ''thing'' is the angry thoughts I have about people, I used to feel disempowered but never angry, like intense raw prmial anger. Its just the worse feeling, it's the feeling of having been betrayed and abused in the most fundamental way.

My most outstanding abilities are, writing, critical analysis, painting and singing. If I am not allowed to develop these abilities, I won't be able to do much else, I am too scatter brained.

You have a really really superficial understanding of me kuroneko, its no wonder I feel like killing you. Its people like you who judge that make me hate life. Everything else about it is pretty good. Ask anyone you know about me and they will say ''jasmin loves life'', but you think that's the domain happy people like you. Your snobbery makes me sick. I just want to get my degree so I can write proffessionally, paint and sing. I know many of you might snicker at that, but that's all I have in so far as abilities go

I too enjoy sunshine and the outside world and I take advantage of it. I wouldn't mind some popcorn but I can't afford it and if I accept it, people will judge me as a scab.

It doesn't matter what social status they have, I can communicate equally with people from all demographics, education levels, levels of fame and success etc. Its about whether we click.

Kuroneko, we aren't on the same level, I don't feel like I am on the same level with any of you here and that is why I keep getting agro on this site.

If say I meet someone and we have a long conversation about a shared interest or passion, I believe they like me and I don't have a problem. If they are just extra nice to me, but I don't know why I feel like its a trick and everything seems off colour.

Unless I can percieve that we have stuff in common and they have been through similar experiences, then this feeling is short wired?

I expect people to be hostile and when they are not, I can't deal with it, I don't believe it.

I know that's evil and I can't help it and it makes me really fucking angry, but I know how to control my anger. I don't believe in violence.