Tim Rogers + Muscles

“What are we going to do?” said a sheepish Muscles at the somewhat delayed start of his “one-off” show with new best bud Tim Rogers. “Nobody knows,” he continued. “Even us.” If the pair didn’t use the half-an-hour they kept fans waiting for a “one-off” rehearsal, then what the fuck were they doing back there?

When they finally strode out, the disparity between performers could be summed up by their choice of microphone. Rogers – dapper in a two-piece suit and Colonel Sanders tie – used a vintage tube mic, Muscles in sunglasses and a T-shirt, the industry standard SM57. He later ditched the sunglasses because they looked “pretentious”; a word he used to describe Meredith Music Festival flops MGMT. He also took aim at Bernard Fanning and his “boring” band Powderfinger and Nevereverland, his record label’s 10th birthday bash which he was scheduled to play at but never showed. Luckily, he had a quick-witted veteran by his side to diffuse things when they threatened to boil over; a pattern that continued throughout the night.

The first song was a stop-start rendition of ‘One Inch Badge Pin’, featuring Muscles on gravel and keys and Rogers on ambient guitar scrapes and noise. It was followed by a shambolic, but highly entertaining cover of East 17’s ‘Alright’ that left Rogers, who had a “what-the-fuck-am-I-doing-here?” look on his face all night, more than a little bemused. Rogers chose well with his opener: a haunting version of ‘When Yer Sad’ from last year’s underrated solo disc, The Luxury of Hysteria, enhanced by some Muscles samples.

But no-one it seemed was really there for the “art”, as the night descended into a two-hour mess of banter and audience jeers. “That was 100 percent improvised – and it was pretty scary for me,” Muscles said at one point, stating the bleeding obvious. “It was scary for us too!” was a punter’s quick-fire reply. “Fuck off back to Shepparton,” yelled a toothless bogan, presumably from a section of the crowd who think You Am I are bloody grouse. Perhaps they were there to see Rogers with some newly-sculpted guns?

Muscles didn’t exactly endear himself to camp You Am I either. He stopped a song midway through to tell people to quit their jibber jabber, and innocently asked Rogers, “Did you just make that up?” after Hourly Daily’s piece de resistance, ‘If We Can’t Get It Together’. There were more gaffes to come. After Rogers cleverly segued Nick Lowe’s ‘Beast In Me’ into ‘Heavy Heart’, Muscles jokingly asked if the latter was a love song. Rogers responded by turning his ever-popular break-up hit into an ode to crack addicts and prostitutes called ‘St Kilda Love’.

The rest of the set was peppered with moments just like this. Ever the entertainer, Rogers was in fine form, freestyling over a verse in ‘Hey Muscles, I Love You, I Wanna Have Your Babies’ and launching into a brief version of Muscles’ ‘Ice Cream’ before ‘Jaimme’s Got a Gal’. Muscles, in stark contrast to his confident and assured Meredith debut, played the awkward class clown. He took digital photos during songs, showed off a $20 gadget he bought on the internet and inexplicably pulled out a tennis racquet and a copy of Men’s Health. He also took a moment – as always – to plug his website and blog, as well as a brand of tea that he claimed was better than cocaine.

It’s unclear if this sort of onstage unraveling was a symptom of Muscles’ fractured relationship with Modular, or part of his shtick. Either way, it made for the best/worst gig of the year.

by Darren Levin