Last Friday evening, in a small Marrickville recording studio where he was working on his latest project, I sat down to talk with the man behind the legend that is Alan Hislop.
The man who provided the metronomic beat behind such acts as, The Bland, The Mindless Delta Children, The Screaming Species, Suicidal Flowers, Flower Boy Blue, The Hollywood Gurls, The Moffs, The Trash Potatoes, The Nerd Berds, Blackened Voodoo, The Interstellar Villains, The Unglamourays, The Gentlepeople, Thurston Howlers, The Apes, The Obvious Question, The Groans, The Wayward and 3dtv to name a few.
A man who believes lunch is the most important meal of the day, that the importance of music is right up there with tv, that the 80’s were a great decade because every pub was a music venue, that the North Sydney Bears were the greatest football club that ever existed, that Don’s Party was greatest movie ever made, that the thing that makes him laugh most is “funny business”, that marriage is a pointless religious exercise, That Marrickville is better than Newtown, that cycling is better than driving and that reggae music is ok.
This, the same man who celebrated the Crown Hotel, Surry Hills receiving its 24 hour opening license by putting a marathon 24 hour drinking session, only to pull stumps because he got bored.
I started by asking Alan what he thought was the biggest issue facing the world today.
AH – Over population is the cause of everything bad.
PART 2 of this interview to come.
Respect.
Ah, Flower Boy Blue. Now there was a band. Who was their singer again? VoxFuzz will know......
it's true the world IS Overpopulated!
Ha ha! I want DIRT, Meaty.
this hislop fella, he sounds like a bit like grandpa simpson
He told me a stoey the other day about riding his bike past a RBT unit. He wasn't wearing a helmet. The cop called him a dickhead.
He's definitely 90% Homer.
that's for sure
maybe 5% Bart
and 5% Abe Simpson
no hang on,
then there's no % of Alan Hislop
He's 100% Alan Hislop. Matt Groening may have based some of his characters on Alan - his influence is far reaching.
Flower Boy Blue - or, as we called 'em, The Australian Scientists Tribute Show. (Of course, we all know that the Scientists are, according to Stinky Pigpen, "the best band in Sydney at the mo-o-oment")
I recall they were fronted by an aspiring hairdresser. Wonder what ever happened to him?
When Alan Hislop was asked what fruit or vegetable he would like to be he responded with "I'd like to be a Coconut, so I could fall on someones head...it would crack me up"
I know where he lives, Meaty. I really must go and revisit those photos that Nick Pott(y)s has, although they may have been from the other band. Hollywood Girls?
Two of my favourite Hislopisms:
"Women shouldn't be police officers because they would get nervous and shoot the wrong person."
"What's the point of making a bed when you're just going to get back in it and mess it up."
Let us not forget this is a man of many levels. He earns a crust by mixing essential oils to be used in candles,incense and soaps and other new age products. He wears a lab coat.
what? stinky wants to be a cocknutt?
"There's no point in sending emails, it's just stupid why not ring the person up"
you know, Voxy, on your blonde days you bear a remarkable resemblance to the keyboard player from the Suicidal Flowers....
Was it a woman?
when Alan hislop was asked what would he say to John Howard?
Alan Responded with a huff and a shrug
and said "Nothing I'll slap the glasses off his face, and when he is on the floor bumbling around for his glasses I'll kick him in the head"
der fred. yes, last time I checked, she was a woman - and quite an attractive one at that. can't remember her name off the top of my head, but every guy in every band (and most of the audience) wanted to shag her....
Hooray! She's a woman.
hang on - was it Hislop's sheila for awhile?
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when Alan hislop was asked what would he say to John Howard?
Alan Responded with a huff and a shrug
and said "Nothing I'll slap the glasses off his face, and when he is on the floor bumbling around for his glasses I'll kick him in the head"
that almost got me fired...
fucken great.
Do you work for Howard?
Ahhhh... Hislop- what a character!
"Women shouldn't be police officers because they would get nervous and shoot the wrong person."
Hahahaha
shoots randomly
slays witness
bursts into tears
so, hislop is clearly a man of his era then... hahaha
i find him rather sweet in a beery, sexist kind of way
he's kind of sexist but not in a bad, dominating badalex kind of way.
it's actually such a clear marker of his generation that i find i can't even find it offensive!
it makes him seem charmingly dated though
but i don't mind that in a man, as long as i've got an escape route, or a door that locks
scallywag said about 5 weeks ago why dont bands look like that anymore....
because they couldn't see their instruments?
I look like that!
what?
look there's no search so this is all i got
but alan hislop is at the tote *as i live and breath
right now and that
It's his birthday this Sunday.
As I won't be around this weekend would someone please start a ''Happy Birthday Alan Hislop'' thread on Sunday.
thanks in advance
Alan is trying to decide whether to take up the ukulele or the mandolin. I advised him on the differences in tunings and chord shapes. He seems to be leaning towards the uke, as the mando has too many strings and it would be hard to tune them correctly.
Excellent. He can write more versions of his hit love songs such as ''You're Not That Bad''
I saw you this morning, Glebe. You looked quite spritely. Do you like Monday mornings or something?
he should stick to hitting things. can't go wrong with brute force....
No, I feel like shit. Might be ''sick'' tomorrow.
I watched Alan interact with a baby yesterday. It was a sight to behold.
''Errr, what's it doing? Oh, don't let it touch me, get it away.''
hahahaha! So no babysitting for Alan then?
''Oh no, it's going to touch me!''
Mind you, by the end of it, he was happily joining me in taking loads of photos. He's a softy at heart.
Maybe he was afraid of the bub puking on his skivvy?
pst, i hear he's on parkinson tonight.