hehehe... what's saggy-hairy-arse say em?

I hate the idea that one in twelve people share the same horrorscope as I. I want to be special, darn it.

Ha ha ha ha, similar to mine:

Sagittarius
Travel for business and pleasure may step up a notch or two over the next few weeks. Accept invites and get out and about whenever you can. Even though there is a Void Moon today, the planetary influence is one that suggests that breaking from routine is actually what will bring the best satisfaction. By opening yourself to all that is around you it is quite likely that certain information may be revealed and new insights realised. An excellent day to tackle old problems whose solutions have been elusive.

what star sign are you? I'm Aquarius and I can't be arse today

arsed

EMPRA!!!!!!!

Aquarius

The Moon in Saturn brings out your slack side. You can't even be arsed looking up your own predictions for today.

oooo... fanks empra - I likey likey...

yessum, travel - an escape up to the idyllic waterfront next weekend with the crew - there are so many interesting parts of that to over-analyse given my current situation

Leo- Jonathon Cainer:

Powerless people don't have to worry about their conscience. If something goes wrong, how can it be their fault? They have no power! Powerful people have a lot of responsibility. They can alter many people's lives with their decisions and their actions. To stop themselves having to worry about the consequences, powerful people often like to see themselves as powerless. There is a situation now over which you have a great deal of influence. Acknowledge as much and use it wisely.

we love the cainer.

rob brezsny is one of my faves for random, wacky, makes hardly any sense but entertaining horoscopes

freewill astrology

for example, this week's Scorpio:

On the first Monday of every month, a vision of the Virgin Mary appears on the back porch of Audrey Hoff's house in Miami. Even if you usually have no interest in curiosities like this, Scorpio, I predict that in 2007 you'll be involved in a comparable phenomenon. It won't necessarily feature the Virgin Mary, but will be in alignment with your particular belief system. So if you're a Buddhist, you may have dreams of the Buddha visiting your bedroom. If you're a gay Republican, you might have vivid waking visions of Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan making holy love in a log cabin. If you're a lapsed Catholic, you may have recurring dreams of Jesus giving you permission not to pray to him. If you're an atheist, you could have a series of spectacular epiphanies that prove to you with ever-more certainty that there is no God.

indeed, Monty.. gotta love him.

I'm upset i didnt get to read my year outlook in the sunday magazine this time round.
i dont think he pops it anywhere else (you have to pay for the one on his website)

Sorry P-R!

I'm a crab.

Here's yours:

Aquarius
*The Moon may be Void but it shouldn't be anything less than a very interesting and possibly quite exciting sort of day. There is no need to stick to routine, it is best to seek interesting and stimulating things to do. Things that pique your curiosity, things that fire up your imagination and that stimulate your brain. This is, for example, a great day to tackle old problems that have thus far been unable to be resolved. Finding resolutions should be far easier today. The goddess of love glides sexily into your sign and over the next few weeks should hot up your love life and possibly introduce casual relationships that'll be lots of fun.*

This is fun! Someone should design a program to see how many of the words match up with each other!

Meanwhile, i totally just did this:

So rather than trying to push through it, give in to it and take time off at some stage to do something a little different or step outside your comfort zone for a while and just see what happens rather than trying to stick to your plans.

Some people imagine that the Aquarian Age, if it ever kicks in, will be an airy-fairy affair, rife with crystal healings and dolphin channeling. We'll be surrounded by neo-hippie do-gooders who spread sentimental love. But that's all wrong. The real Aquarian Age will bring a revolution in our political and economic structures, fueled by the Internet and other technologies. There'll be intelligent machines with whom we'll develop complex relationships. Sexual identities will mutate and expand, leading to at least seven distinct genders, and there'll be a host of new ways to experience erotic pleasure. Advances in anti-aging research, nanotechnology, and genetic manipulation will mutate many ideas about what it means to be human. You are by no means obligated to be on the front lines of this revolution, Aquarius. But if you do feel inclined to hang out there, 2007 will be the most adventurous year of your life so far.

mmmmk

age used to do some cracker M+N horoscopes.
speaking of which - age was randomly on my plane from melb to syd on christmas eve

ooh also susan miller does a fuck-off big monthly free horoscope

astrology zone

thanks babysteps!

I love the first paragraph of Saggy...

You've entered one of your best years ever, for Jupiter, your ruler and planet of good luck and happiness, will tour Sagittarius all through 2007. You will have real luck now! In the coming year, one change that you'll surely notice is that your thinking will broaden noticeably, and your confidence will rise in equal measure. This month you'll also have exceptional courage, thanks to Mars' tour of Sagittarius until January 16 (you had Mars on your side last month, too.)

More Cainer love from me, I read his website pretty much daily.

My star signs crap, it never comes true or tells me how I feel accurately.

one of my friends best friends is cainer's step daughter. they reckon he's a cunt. i still read him everyday.

Leo: You are not managing to remain completely sanguine at the moment. That's quite understandable. You'd have had to be a saint or a miracle worker to manage that. You are, though, holding back and being as reasonable as possible, under unreasonable circumstances. That is doing you more good than you realise.

Leo: There are very few experiences in life that we need to have only once. Most things require repetition. We are, for example, obliged to eat every day and sleep every night. Usually, too, if we fall ill or encounter a problem that needs rectification, we have to apply the remedy on a number of occasions. Life is now asking you to take a particular kind of medicine and to keep taking it for some while to come. It is having some side-effects. But these are not so bad... and the cure you are trying to apply is working very well.

hmm, maybe if i just stopped throwing up said medicine.

astrology and the fucking horoscopes astrologists trade in is such irrational nonsense. it's so pervasive that just about everyone has been indoctrinated with the alleged character of their ''star sign'', which are nothing more than a primitive belief system that the movements of planets are somehow supposed to signify petty developments in our lives. as if there's a physical influence emanating from the planets that beams down and directs us.

also, i find it fucking annoying when asked, 'what star sign are you, Peter?' only to reply, 'i don't believe in astrology...' then being asked again, 'yeah-nah, but what sign are you?'

fucking astrology! fucking horoscopes! the trite vagaries that charm and chime the gullible masses. about as convincing as religion.

correction: about as convincing as cunting religion.

gosh, sorry to offend your delicate sensibilities old chap.

of course its not a philosophy to live by every day. but those last couple have been amusing in the context of my life.

now, get yourself an iced vo-vo and a cup of tea and and go yell at the television. or there's plenty of other threads to get annoyed at. there's a good fellow. the nurse will be along with your medication shortly.

Monty, just in from taking a quick squiz at the night sky and, to be honest, i reckon there's a lot of Mercury energy hanging around this thread because of all the bad vibes and argument.

mind you, with 100 billion stars spinning through an expanding universe at a million miles per day, and the light from some of the closest stars having started its journey to Earth at the time of the dinosaur, who knows? i could be wrong...

I'm with Peter. I fucking hate this shit. I could bitch about it for hours. but then, I don't own a TV to yell at.

Our galaxy itself contains 100 billion stars/ It's 100,000 light-years side-to-side/ It bulges in the middle, 16,000 light-years thick/ But out by us it's just 3000 light-years wide/ We're 30,000 light-years from galactic central point/ We go round every 200 million years/ And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions/ In this amazing and expanding universe...

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding/ In all of the directions it can whiz/ As fast as it can go, at the speed of light you know/ Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is/ So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure/ How amazingly unlikely is your birth/ And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space

Because there's bugger all down here on Earth

that amazing expansive universe is telling me I might meet someone new and quirky this month!

My new co-worker just told me that I should come to a gig on Thursday because it's the beginning of Pisces new moon this week and we might be feeling energised by then. :D

pisces new moon yesterday i think....oh dear

Pisces
By Rick Levine
You are standing in a tricky spot, for yesterday's New Moon marked the beginning of a new phase of your life. But today your eager anticipation runs into a roadblock, making you wonder if you are even on the right path. Don't get discouraged because the current obstacles are a test to see if you are really serious about what you are doing. This is no time to quit; your hard work is building a strong foundation for your future.

Leo: One person's rush is another person's amble. Most conflicts in your life now are linked, somehow, to a difference of opinion about the length of time that a process needs to take. You can't see what the hold up is. A certain other person, meanwhile, hasn't even fully decided that they actually need to start moving. You can't wait forever, but you can wait a little longer... and you should. The more you push and probe, the more others will dig in their heels. If you can gently coax someone, this week into thinking that your idea is their own idea, you will inspire a shift that pleases you so much, you won't care who takes the credit for it.

well. fuck. yes. you think?

jonathan cainer's going through your mail again.

and checking my sms's, the old busybody!

well banging out that verbose crap must pretty much take no more then a hour a day, so he's got plenty of idle time.

easy boy - i make my living from banging out verbose crap too, you know...

yes... and you too have idle time... no?

idle hands are the devil's playground. which may explain these callouses.

Leo: Be glad of the most irritating person in your world. He (or she) may be a pain... but nature abhors a vacuum. If you get rid of this aggravating character, you will create a space for someone new to fill the role. And heaven knows how big a nuisance that replacement could turn out to be.