Wipey and I

what happened here?

diaslamage

I signed back in to pay respects to this thread but then when I opened it I was kind of disappointed.

I thought it was going to feature picaresque tales. But no. No...

that's actually a photo of two dogs.

look closely.

i thought this thread was someone going to announce that they were an item.

'ode to a koala bear', foot?

now, that's gotta get a spin soon, surely...?

I thought this was going to be 6'er's Withnail and I tribute ...

Just 2 dudes, a bottle of life & the road. Our adventures aren't to be matched.

Day 1:

I wake up with a headfumes that would decimate a field of strawberries in the height of their bloom. I lift my face off the steering wheel to get my sweet fuckin' lips onto the bottle of Jack. I fumble in my pockets past the quickeaze & condoms for my keys but to come up empty handed. I drag my eyes up to look out the front window to notice we're at the beach. I wipe the post-party from my eyes and squint at the form dancing on the beach and there's Wipey, keys in hand, eating a pidgeon wearing naught but the fleshy remains of a turtle. After we cleaned him up and had a swim, we felt pretty damn good about the path that lie ahead, but had a feeling there was someone, some.. thing.. lurking behind us...

We also love full stops.

Ha!

this is my new favourite thread. mind you i took over from the daily adventures of 6'er

Should have been "Wipey and me".

hey man, they're just our stories, don't get heavy on our grammar groove, brosaphine.

DAY 2:

We soon learnt that the figure in the distance was indeed a figure of reknown... A figure to revere, a figure that struck fear into the deepest part of our instincts. I whispered to Wipey "dude... we should totally just run"... He just got out a cigarette, lit up the mixture of menthol & tobacco and casually kicked over the last reserves of fuel we had. As we walked off, the figure started advancing toward us. As we edged away, Wipey flicked his Alpine Light toward the spilt fuel. RUN! screeched Wipey as the cigarette flipped end over end toward it's fiery destiny. As the cherry impacted with the puddle of fuel that covered the ground, the figure was just passing the same spot. We didn't look back again.

Awesome! Then what happened?!

i'm on the edge of my seat!

hey Wipey...

keep going.

I can only log on at lunch.,

shhh
new job
shhh
navy seals n shit like that
shhh

I gots a handle on it, this shit takes time, but our stories need to be told.

Come ooooooooooooorn!!

DAY 3 - IDENTITIES

We had been on the road for 7 hours in a stolen MG. As we polished off our 3rd bottle of Ballingtons & dropped our 4th 'lude, we realised we'd need aliases, something to draw the heat off us. We'll need new identities. We pull into an Esso 2 hours out of Dallas, Texas and see a Biker & his mole counting change on the tank of his Triumph Bonnie. Without nary a word, Wipey walks up to the biker, grabs a handful of his greasy, heavy locks from the back of his head, just under his bandanna and pops the centre of his throat with a stick used to stir paint that was next to our bowser. I drove the MG into a convenience store window to create a diversion. I grabbed some Toobs on my way out. In the same movement, Wipey disintergrated the Mole with one flash of his Bard'jee Sphere, turning her once herion & herpies riddled body into a pile of smoldering ash. He takes their ID's & their change and lights up one of their pre-rolled cigarettes. As we walk away he flicks the bikers Confederate Zippo toward the open tank of the bike, for old times sake. That fucker likes to run...

We stop running at a small creek just outside the township to check out the IDs. Maggie & Midget... My heart slightly sinks as I realise that i'm going to have to be the girl again.

very cute! This thread is calling out to be loved, right?

who is john?

This thread is so gay!

This thread is a mirror into your own humanity, maaan...

This thread could've been the next Little House On The Prairie, but instead it became the next 7th Heaven.

Disappointing

We have the GREATEST of times!

For HittheCity's study of the mythical beasts themselves.

Vampire ghost: