Dear Day,

I hereby ask you to fuck right off.

Best Regards,
Fudge

You appear to be broken,
Also you're incredibly large.

That's what she said.

That's what she said.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Dear Frankie,

LOLOLOLOLOL

fzchk

dear body,

we have to learn to be good to each other again. it's been a bit of a war of late, and i think i've been taking you for granted. i'm very sorry, and will try to do better.

xx

shines

dear research app,

you really need to be very good in order that i might get into an RHD, and right now i am just not feeling the magic. please up your game a little, ok?

shines

That's what she said.

Dear shines,

I'm imagining RHD stands for Really High Distinction...because thats what I hope it stands for even though it is out of context/syntax.

fzchk

--

-

Dear ___

I wish there was a music scene/city I could go to where people didn't think I was stalking them.

My deepest wish in life is to be where I am wanted, cared about and loved and it really sucks having people wanting to have you arrested, I mean if I was violent or a bitch, I could understand, but am a decent person and my love for music never dies.

Jazzy

dear fzchk

it's actually for research higher degree... but i like your version more.

i am doing some reading for my application. it is confusing me waaaay too much. i am starting to rethink my whole question. and that's not meant to happen until i am actually enrolled. argh!

shines

Dear ____

Please let life be filled with the stuff I want and not the stuff some fools think I want.

Highest Regards

Jazzy

Dear ex boyfriends (official), past lovers and those resembling them,

There are not that many of you.

However it must be said that although most of you have many redeeming features, I am not in love with you and never will be. We have been down that path and know that we are not truly compatible.

I wish you the best on your journey.

I am looking for new territory with someone who genuinely is, so please do not make me rehash over old ground.

Best Wishes

Jazzy

So frustrating!!!

Dear ex-girlfriend,

So you're going to be back in the country in a few days. I'm pretty sure we're going to root, but this will be an absolute disaster. I ended our relationship because it was a stone, falling from the sky, and we were strapped to it as it plummeted to earth. But the last four months has been so lonely without you. And none of my mates want to hear about it, they all hate you and shout me down when I try to talk about you, and tell me I'm being a total dick. And if I'm at all honest with myself, I am. But I love you, and I can't wait to have you in my arms again.

m. bulk

Dear _

I am pretty sick and fucken tired of the way you talk to me sometimes.

Arrogant much?

~ TPE

Dear prospective love interests,

Just know this myriad of lovers and stuff, it's a load of bullshit.

I've been alone for a very long time.

Just thought I should rehash that very important point.

Jazzy

Dear Batman

How can I find friends? I want them to ring me on the telephone and we can laugh about stuff.

PR

The whole dislexic language thing, I stole from I think a tale about a saint called Fatima, who three dislexic children revealed esoteric truths.

And then there are some things that are quite uncanny.

...but don't necessarily mean anything.

Dear karaoke,

You're the best thing that ever happened to me. When I think about you I touch myself. Because you coming back to me is against all odds and that's a chance I've got to take. This is how we do it.

xoxo
sonian

Not so keen on those song choices Sonian, except the first one is a killer melody.

Beautiful song.

I could be discontent and chase the rainbows end
I might win much more but lose all that is mine
I could be a lot but I know I'm not
I'm content just with the riches that you bring
I might shoot to win and commit the sin
Of wanting more than I've already got
I could runaway but I'd rather stay
In the warmth of your smile lighting up my day
(the one that makes me say, heh)

'Cause you're the best thing that ever happened to me or my world
You're the best thing that ever happened - so don't go away

I might be a king and steal my peoples things
But I don't go for that power crazy way
All that I could rule but I don't check for fools
All that I need is to be left to live my way
(say listen what I say)

I could chase around for nothing to be found
But why look for something that is never there
I may get it wrong sometimes but I'll come back in style
For I realise your love means more than anything
(the song you make me sing - yeah)

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/s/stylecouncillyrics/yourethebestthinglyrics.html

My mother liked Phil Collins, I've always thought he was a talent but always been ho hum about him, to middle of the road for my liking.

Dear Google Chrome,

Next update, could you please include a ''Refresh All Tabs'' feature? That would be awesome and I would love you even more than I already do, which is a lot.

Toodles,
mooey

Dear lady sitting next to me on train,

At first I thought we were suffering together through some inconsiderate person's flatulence.

Now I realize it's actually your breath.
Fucken hell!

Mint?
Hhh

Dear _____

God those cheating whores, who own back packers hostels and used to strip for a living really are something. Good luck to them and to you, whoever they are.

hsdfauof

hsdfauof said 12 minutes ago:

whores

As opposed to ''sluts''?

Is it a bit of an oxymoron to put cheating and whore in the same sentence?

i don't think so hsdfauof, not unless you're playing monopoly with them.

I don't think so either,

I like this song

PJ Harvey Down By The Water

Dear classmate,

I'm pretty sure that tattoo on your leg says ''Cunt''. Does it?

Curiouser,

PG

Dear Barmaids of Australia,

Please be less attractive. It's interfering with my drinking.

Yours,

RM

Dear ____

I love so much more than I am ever loved and sometimes I can't bear the pain, it doesn't stop me from staying true to my heart and my beliefs, I could be rejected by the whole world, in fact I am and still am true to something I hold dear, or at least I am most of the time. I am most proud of my strength, but maybe one day I will find that I wasn't strong just proud.

Dear casual paramour,

Please return from Sydney so we can resume our ill-fated affairette. Hate to say it but I miss you.

xx

Dear China,

Thanks again - every time I visit you I fall in love that little bit more. Beijing is quite possibly my favourite place in the whole wide world and now this is closely followed by Xian.

I love your people, your food, your customs, your music, your language... so much more than HK. My heart breaks a little bit every time we part...

Don't go changin' and can't wait until the next time already.

Yours eternally,

PP

Dear neighbour dude,

Stop stealing my bin, ok? I will fuck you up.

Cheers,

fzchk