A/S/L?

Hmm. Like smoking and drugs, your life will probably be better if you never start.

No sale.

How have you never ever had coffee? Are you an infant with immaculate typing skills?

Start with tea.

I had one once in 1996. It sucked.

I was vehemently anti-coffee until I was 23. I was in Germany and struggled to stay awake, and decided to try some to keep me up. It was a very sweet French Vanilla, which at the time was a taste sensation. I would suggest that as a decent starting point. But if you've managed to avoid it all of these years, you might want to stay off of it. Like mud said.

In time I've moved over to latte and mocha, and somehow get it straight and black when desperate.

I still hate the taste of coffee lollies.

vehemently

I think this adverb is overused by hipsters in general.

you drink it hot

101010101010101 said 4 minutes ago:
I was vehemently anti-coffee until I was 23. I was in Germany and struggled to stay awake, and decided to try some to keep me up. It was a very sweet French Vanilla, which at the time was a taste sensation. I would suggest that as a decent starting point. But if you've managed to avoid it all of these years, you might want to stay off of it. Like mud said.
In time I've moved over to latte and mocha, and somehow get it straight and black when desperate.

No! you should only drink black coffee, no sugar.

When you buy coffee, never have sugar, or else the barista may think you're a bogan.

just make sure your first time is special. harness the productivity by bringing legos or a ball of yarn with you.

who cares what the barista thinks? If s/he is making coffee with a bitter edge, you need sugar to bring out the flavour.

here's a mystery: I can't stop putting half a sugar in double shot lattés, but I never put sugar in a double ristretto. how does that work?

anyway back to the original post: if you're OK with becoming enslaved to a drink that is thoroughly enjoyable, go for it. start off with a garden variety coffee (cap, latte, whatever) from a highly recommended barista (make sure it's a place coffee snobs dig - otherwise you're risking a terrible first experience)

if you're not OK with the enslavement, stay far far away.

don't start. I'm trying to reduce my one cup a day. It's hard. Coffee addiction is difficult to withdraw from - one of the hardest, on par with cigarettes.
You're looking at two weeks of terrible headaches, fatigue and vagueness coming off it.

Coffee gives you haemorrhoids.

True.

I wouldn't, I don't mind a latte but only occasionally. I reckon it would taste like crap the first time much like a beer, so that will most probably put you off.

I think I had my first coffee when I was 25. All I knew of coffee prior was my Nana's 8 cups of day of International Roast power.. black.. no sugar.. that smell still remains with me. I only have 1 cup a day and quite enjoy the aroma of my stovetop thingo.

who cares what the barista thinks?

I could kiss you for saying that.

Fuck the coffee thing in Melbourne is giving me the shits right now. Different people like their coffee differently. Suck it up coffee wank people. You're getting worse than the wine snobs. I blame Masterchef and Matthew Newton.

How funny. I am such a coffee n00b that I completely forgot this thread existed.

No bids so far. Only advice against it, or advice on how to take this coffee thing up gently. Fair enough, I suppose. I appreciate your concern.

However, as a geisha does not tentatively embark on a sex life if she has no patron, I'm not going to start drinking coffee for the sake of it. Frankly, reports I've heard of it making your breath smell terrible and your bowels fall loose are offputting.

Add this to the dependency on both the drink and the often exploitative market conditions (and subsequent labour conditions) that characterise its production, and it's certainly not something I will turn to lightly.

Coffee tastes good. It supports pleasant conversation and provides the perfect excuse to sit around and do absolutely bugger all. It is a pleasure and a ritual and a companion. In moderation it is in not harmful in the slightest and most people exaggerate their addiction to the substance. If you choose fair trade than you can drink without blood nor guilt.

I say give it a try and see if you like it. I dunno - go to a crappy Italian ''family restaurant'' and have a cappuccino after you've finished your pizza. Skip the lingo and just say cappuccino. They'll bring you something hot and good and you'll probably enjoy it.

not flirting

I'm in Castlemaine and no, I have not popped my cherry. I have been drinking Bambu lately.

castlemaine...can't help at all, mate.
I had a soy latte at Saff on Mostyn Street. I think they tried their best and it wasn't too bad.
You should try Coffee Basic on Halford St when you are frisky again. I haven't been there but it's got some good reviews.

I have had their chai.

whoa, coffee substitute. i never knew such a thing existed.

so your hesitance towards coffee is mostly a moral one?

I guess so. Bambu is actually really good. Much better than dandelion tea.

how do you feel about the caffeine buzz aspect?

Saff's chai?
IIRC, it taste like chinese herbal med.

I don't really like the idea of depending on it like so many people do. But I drink booze, so it's not like I'm adverse to the idea of substances affecting you or making you feel good.

good stuff from Castlemaine:

I don't really like the idea of depending on it like so many people do

yeah, it's a deliciously slippery slope once you start. and who knows what other lapses of moral fortitude it could lead to...

THIS

this thread was cute. no one ever did flick untold's bean did they?

Nope. Teases, the lot.

Almost broke my own hymen but decided to pull out at the last minute. This shit is bad for you.

untold, come by my house next time, I will make you a filter coffee with light roast single origin coffee beans.

Sounds like a euphemism and I'm not cool with that.

This person has spent a whole thread saying he doesn't like coffee, so you think they will retract a years-held position ecause you've put some wanky words in front of the word 'coffee'? I reckon proba bly not.

Anyway, I just came to this thread to find out the best way to get coffee grounds out from under my foreskin. THX!

I like your values u/a, my wife has the claim to fame of never smoking a cigarette in her life.