Mannix - the television show

Should be ''Mannix and Mannix'', where a mulleted ex-cop and hairy-legged urchin with underworld connections team up to form a rivate detective agency.

EPISODE 1 - EVERYBODY WANTS TO WORK

Brian Mannix has just been kicked out of the force for being too much of a maverick. He walks the city streets, looking despondent. He kicks a can.

camera pans to follow kicked can.

The can hits a scruffy looking young man in cut-off shorts, who has been sitting in a shopping trolley looking cool

KID: ''Hey! You could have killed me!''
BRIAN: ''You look like you need some food, kid. Let's start a private detective agency. I need someone who is on the pulse with the streets''

First case: Recovering mastertapes of The Art's new album from an unscrupulous manager who has signed the band to a 360 deal. Rock cameo byGlenn Wheatley as himself.

EPISODE 3 - IT'S NOT EASY BEING US

after successfully thwarting TheArt's manager, Mannix and Mannix find themselves going undercover to investigate a fledgling music festival in Queensland. With hilarious results.

Mannix and Mannix

two and a half mannix

Starring Brian Mannix as Brian Mannix.

Starring Jack Mannix as Jack Mannix

I hope you're copyrighting this idea, guys!

Episode IV - Bruise Consternation

Brian has to juggle two ex-girlfriends, both of whom want to reunite with him (guest stars Collette and Sophie Lee), while he and Jack investigate how The Rich Kids got the Kate Nash support slot. Rock cameos by Jerry Thackray and Darryl Cotton.

one more and it's back to work

EPISODE 5 - 'COS LIFE HURTS

Brian's old partner in the force Jon English, having turned crooked years before, is unhappy that another sitcom has been produced with an ageing rocker. He kidnaps Jack and imprisons him in the tunnel underneath the Tote, thinking it's going to be demolished and turned into apartments. Brian starts a lobby group and saves the tote, and Jack

Jack what? What? Is it a cliffhanger?

up to you now

and Jack is set free. Brian is delighted and suggests that the two celebrate with a front row table at Crown Casino for Otouto's cabaret debut, but Jack is haunted by the various ghosts he saw udner the Tote. After a session with his stylist/shrink (Angie Bermuda), Jack realises he must confront Jon English, and tracks him down in the carpark of the Hallam Hotel. Brian arrives just as a gunshot rings out.

FUCK YOU CLIFFHANGER

There is more creativity on this site than in the entire Australian television industry.

The shot came from Brian Canham. Pseudo Echo was launching another remix of 'Funkytown' at the Hallam Hotel, but Brian when Brian saw Jack he remembered being rejected by Brian Mannix years before, and saw red.

CANHAM: ''If it wasn't for you it would be Brian and Brian!''

Jack ducks out of the way and the bullet hits Jon English

EPISODE 6 - 50 YEARS

Jack lies in the critical injuries ward of the hospital, in a coma and fighting for his life (and the right to wear denim hospital scrubs). His doctor (Hugo Race) isn't sure whether he'll make it, but insists that Brian try to communciate with Jack. Brian sits by Jack's bed and slowly starts to sing ''50 Years'' a capella, as a montage of the two clowning around plays. When Jack doesn't respons Brian stumbles out, forsaking the sympathy of hardened yet caring nurse (Loene Carmen).

Brian revisits their old haunts - art gallies, squats - and realises that he loves Jack like a son and must meet him halfway. Bria returns to the hospital and sings Circle Pit's ''Speed Limits'' to Jack. As Brian gets to the chorus Jake's eyes flutter open and he turns the song into a duet. Holding hands they sing the final verse together: ''Tarred and feathered/Wild turkey/And all I got is/Nuclear energy''. A single tear rolls down Brian's cheek.

Obviously this is happening in sideways wirld, a la Lost.

the bullet could have grazed Jack in the head.

jon english is now man nixxed

EPISODE 7 - WHAT YOU GIVE IS WHAT YOU GET

A fully recovered Jack is alarmed to find a secretive group of people have started making disparaging comments about the detective agency's authenticity on a forum website. He infiltrates the group online and suggests a meeting behind Taco Girl's van, saying he has a secret about Brian he can only divulge in person. The group falls for the trap.

Also: Brian needs a catchphrase he can wheel out whenever Jack goes into peformance art as life mode.

This has made my day.

And you're welcome......

are you Brian Canham?

Looks nothing like Michael Pate

This sounds like a good plot- I nicked it from the Wikipedia episode list of another show, but no one will notice:
*This is to be the first day of work for rookie cop, but on the way to his precinct he's noticing a group of men which are trying to strangle an individual. He takes this as his duty and is freeing him. In an attempt to chase assassins car he's shooting in its direction, and the car is killing one woman. It seems that he done right thing, but he doesn't know yet who he was just saved life and that was a gangster who was about to die from rival gang members hands. The cop is immediately in the centre of the whole case as he's only one who can point responsible for this assault (and killing an innocent women). *

Yes, I am bored.

me too

EPISODE 8 - SEWERCIDE

The camera pans to a group of indie kids having a picnic by Merri Creek. One is playing a ukelele. One kid takes off their shoes and goes walking into the creek, then a blood curdling scream is heard as the camera zooms in to see a fairly small cock floating out from a nearby sewer pipe. Short Stack can be heard faintly in the background

CAN MANNIX AND MANNIX FIND OUT WHOSE COCK IS IS?