i put arsenic in the coffee once.

did not go down well at all

rm -r *

oops.

meh, i make mistakes all the time.
i like to blame other people for it..and get all huffy about it..

what about that swop shop [sic] guy?

Well one time I told my boss to "Just fuck off."

Got fired the same night oddly enough.

yeah i blame it on other people, like students.

One memorable fuck up was forgettting to organise a PA and lecturn for Orientation for one year (it was actually someone else's job to do it but I was supposed to ask them to do it). The deputy VC had to deliver a speech through a megaphone. Big fuck up.

what did you do?

That is odd, ALEX. He waited before firing you?

i did the same thing BA...
i just walked out 5 minutes later before he had time to fire me.
it was bound to happen, so i thought 'fuck it' and left.....

A guy ordered a whole lot of wine for himself and had it sent to work. I was doing too many things at once and didn't check the number of boxes I was signing for. Apparently there were 2 missing but they've now got my signature saying it was all cool and, as such, we have no proof that there are some missing.

Oops.

I guess you weren't here for my tens of thousands of dollars fuck up, eh...

ah, that'll be fine...
cAll the courier company and tell em and they're normally pretty cool.
i'ev had that happen quite a bit, and its always worked out...

oh jesus.
i remember that....

I normally never fuck up like this, but last week I put letters in the wrong envelopes every day. Oops. I wonder if it will happen again today.

what happened 6er?

Shit, I think I remember 6er. Refresh my memory?

I've sent out confidential documents to the wrong people on numrous occasions. I've invested people in the wrong funds. I've filled out forms wrong. I've been the cause of numerous delays in applications for investments/super funds/insurance.

I've managed to not make any major errors in my current job though. Just the occasional minor one which i expect myself to make anyway given my work ethic.

when i worked at the body shop many years ago i almost set the place on fire.

hint for the day: don't attempt to extinguish a rogue candle by pouring a glass of water on it.

for years afterwards you could still see the burn marks on the ceiling where the fireball hit it..until they painted over it.

"it was like that before i got to it" is a good general exuse. you can add your variations and relate it to any situation.

i've made lots of small mistakes, every day probably. i just blame it on being new and receiving incoherent instructions from people who think they are super-important and don't have time to make sure they get it right. the people i am reporting to understand all too well. it's working so far, haven't had any trouble.

I almost burnt down my house doing that as well...my bookcase caught on fire. I have mad skillz at living.

I'm normally so good and thorough, that's what's getting under my skin. I hate that I've given people reason to think otherwise.

I've just been told I'm the only one who ever checks deliveries anyway. Haha.

I just got a whole A4 page stuck in the laminator. blahhh

A colleague was being a royal cunt, relentlessly. I threatened him with physical violence, yet he persisted. I told him to STFU, still no dice. The GM walks out (my desk is at his door - so he knows I'm a complete potty mouth, and considers me a little ''zany'') to ask what the fuss if all about. Explaining that I'm about to completely lose my shit I can hear dickmouth still going, chirping away like a little shit.
''That's fucking IT!!''
Switches to 3rd person commentary:
BBS picks up phone to throw in the general direction of dickmouth, however BBS didn't concentrate in his physics class where it was explained that an object will generally head in the direction that you release it. BBS's phone swings wildly past the point of dickmouth's direct, continues to swing, and hits his General Manager right in the fucking head.
Oops.

holy shit, i wish i was there to see this. WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THIS??

whoa!

holy shit, i wish i was there to see this. WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THIS??

Apologised to the GM. He was fine with it all. Left the building early, went home and got drunk. Didn't come in the next day. Did so the next day and apologised again to the GM. He'd put it behind him 5 minutes after it happened.

I nearly took his fucking eye out! It would have been awesome except he's a good chap.

wow. where do you work? can i have a job?

wow. where do you work? can i have a job?

But you just heard there's people there infuriating enough to provoke physical violence!

yes! a job where physical violence is acceptable! sign me up!

what rawr said.

If I thew anything at ANY of my bosses, I'm sure a limb would fall off. Not all of them are in peak physical condition....

I'm with those guys. Sign me up!

CAN'T FOCUS ON ANYTHING TODAY.

hrmm....threw

LOOKS LIKE I WAS ON THE BALL YESTERDAY

Hey, Woolfat

damn straight, bastard.

i really am a useless shit today. i've just been staring at my computer screen.

I fixed up a heap of fuck ups yesterday, THEN got an extention on my homework THEN I felt better. Now I'm back to procrastinating my usual tasks.

Could be more boring and muntane!

what are you studying, bastard? entertain me.

Work is paying for me to do Cert 4 In Training and Assessment. I wouldn't do this off my own bat
I'm not training anyone and I'm not assessing anyone, the training department is just one area I work in, so it needs to be done

I'm writing a training plan on TIME MANAGEMENT!

FFS

haha. gold.

that course is a pain in the fuckin arse!!

The trainer we had was a pain in the arse.

Considering he was teaching people with predominantly mechanical/technical backgrounds, you think there would be a bit more of a method in his teaching style. Faaaaaaaar too all over the shop like an Arts lecturer who did too much acid back in the day for my liking....but anyways....nearly done. Sorta...

I totally fucked up the filing system this morning. I realised my mistake before anyone else did and fixed it. But fixing it took most of the morning and other things I should have got sone didn't get done. The boss was on the phone when I left so he's probably finding out about it all right now....