I have started a buisness!

Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!

good work,pheonix. Personally, I would rather clean my own toilet. Do you except EFTPOS?
also, are you aware of www.thenakedbarber.com.au?

it's never take off.

Learn to link you creepy pervert

you should have tried naked shoe shines instead. you could have specialized in suede shoes too.

you are pretty much my hero.

P-h-a-t.

116 views but still no phone calls, im gonna have to run this add in the gay street press. I dont wanna be another statistic, and i hear 90% of all small buisness fails in its first year. I also am looking forward to whinging about economic climates and the price of ajax and toilet brushes.

coming home to find you snorting ajax off my dunny with the toilet brush wedged firmly up your arse...... hmmm, no thanks.

It is a boutique service i am offering here crackwhore, i am attempting to corner the gay 50yr old pervert pink dollar market, an exquisite cleaning service whilst also providing a bit of eye candy for the discerning degenerates.. all for cash money.. and they say that in these harsh economic times cash is king.. uncle matty wants a slice of the pink pie!

I am in awe of your entrepreneurial chutzpah and lavatorial schtick! When you announce your first stock floatation be sure to give me a heads up.

However, your spelling leaves a lot to be desired.

I would agree that my spelling leaves alot to be desired and that is exactly why i have had to put down the pen and take up the toilet brush. I need to focus on my strengths rather than let my weak points drag me down.

Good point.

Wouldn't you make more money with a cock up your arse Matt? Or do you enjoy toilets?

I reckon he likes them both as much.

I may indeed make more money with a cock up the arse indeed, it may come to the point that i will perhaps be offered a cash incentive to recieve a bumming but im guessing as its a toilet cleaning service i am more likely to be offered some extra work being wee'd on or even poo'd on. These will incur an extra charge of between $20-$35. On top of this i will charge a cleaning fee if they wish me to clean up the mess afterwards of somewhere in the ball park of $20.

I think you are charging too little. It makes things seems a little dodgy when they are really cheap.

I got a reply finally.

From: messandnoise@gmail.com
What is your hourly rate please.

My friend said i should be charging more like $120 a toilet when i take into account the travel time and product i will need to use. And we agreed on$380 for someone to do a poo on me.

I would add an extra zero to all those prices.

From: messandnoise@gmail.com
I want you to stick a huge glass anal ball (not bead) up your hole, so you prolapse. will you do that for me while I watch?

what is a prolapse... i wonder if it will be one of those balls david bowie has in labrynth

will you be able to prolapse and still carry out your cleaning duties?

I just googled prolapse ...and specified bowel which i believe to be the variety i would be experiencing and i do believe that i would be able to compleate my duties and then using the toilet brush push the bowel back inside my anoos

i think your market may be in couples, MATTPHEONIXxoxoxo. however regardless of the fluid nature of my own status re. singleVmarried, i still have no interest in (any of) your services.

I just recieved my first job off... it looked like this

PLEASE CALL/TXT ME NOW
I WILL TAKE IT
0431 710 323 0431 710 323
DO NOT REPLY TO EMAIL.

THANK YOU

PLEASE CALL ANYTIME BEFORE 1AM THANKS

but i called it and it rang out before going to an answering machine message that was just a techno song....what an anti climax... i was about to grab the brush toilet duck and jump on my bike...fucken...its hard trying to get a small buisness off the ground

Don't worry I'm sure there are heaps of faggots just waiting to fuck you gay bird fucker.
And you give me shit. Naked gay cleaner -fail.

Hey slipdig2 i thought you were cool. I am having financial difficulties and am just trying to do the best i can in this current economical climate. I might tease you a bit sometimes but at the end of the day i think your glowstick challenge is an awesome idea. Dont kick me while im down man, im just doing the best i can.

If yr really going in for the brown shower experience, Matt, you should look online for what other Sydney subs charge, then go a wee bit less.

Frankly, I think you'd be better off it you did the dumping, then cleaned yr human toilet, instead of letting someone dump on you, then cleaning their toilet. It'll be more pleasant for you, and your customers will spread the word that you have the most comprehensive and hygienic aftercare on the scene.

NOW GO FORTH AND FLUSH THE BROWN MARKET.

then go a wee bit less

Ha, no pun intended.

NB: I have no interest in the poo thing.

I am always glad to have any helpful buisness advice and i thank ye very muchley. I wouldnt have a clue how to find out what sydney subs charge, also i wasnt aware that this buisness would make me a sub...that makes me feel less inclined to persue this career.. if i was to be called a dom and people could still do a poo on me i would be much more comfortable.

You could easily be a Dom and still have people poo on you, if you ordered them to do it. It's not the act that defines the roleplayer, it's the motivation.

Just google some local Doms and bondage houses or something. How do you think yr everyday perv finds this shit? Lacking in the simplest business research skills already, Phoenix.

Well i found the entire collection of anthony robinson personal power dvd's whilst wandering through newtown so if i can ever get my shit together to watch them i will most certainly improve my buisness managment skills i would imagine.

I just recieved my second response to my add, the first one didnt answer my call back and so now i feel a little downtrodden. But when we fall down we must pick ourselves back up like batman...like GARY.

If this were GARY it'd be a runaway success.

You need some publicity stunts, MATT. Try dressing up as a toilet, holding a sign and standing outside the studio window when they're filming Sunrise. Or put a series of videos on youtube of you in action. I'm sure you can think of more outrageous stuff.

Public demonstration outside the studio window when they're filming sunrise.

Get someone to shit yr contact number on yr chest.

Don't worry I'm sure there are heaps of faggots just waiting to fuck you gay bird fucker. And you give me shit. Naked gay cleaner -fail.

wait, you're responsible for distributing a mass amount of glowsticks to sweaty men in a dance tent, and you're a massive homophobe? how does that work?

COZ HE'S FUKKIN SIK BRAAHHHHH.

Now you made me feel bad, I was only having a crack while I could, dude I hope you do well for yourself. In all seriousness it is a show that you may be a person of good character, as even with this harsh economical cycle, you are still trying as hard as you can. That is a rare quality today, most people give up and sit on the dole, or at least I know alot that do. Once again apologies.

If you need help with promotions you know I pretty good with ideas for that so, if you need help there.

I give out glowsticks too sweaty women as well.

Thanks for the kind words slipdig. Dammit i am getting responses to my adds but when i call them hey go to answering machines...damn nervous perverts...dont they know i am a legitimate buisness?

Perhaps the way to sell this as a strip-o-gram type deal. People could hire you to turn up at peoples doors and say you're there to clean the house courtesy of , then when they let you in you strip off and get cleaning.

Whilst that may get me some more buisness Haff i do not want to cheapen myself.

get a haircut and a real fucking job.

Try cleaning in clothes.

No one will pay $50 to have a dude clean their toilet. I dont wanna have to work hard...just sell my body for some extra green queens

Sell you body to scientism.

r

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Due to the obscene costs of running an obscene buisness in Sydney Lord Fiendish Nude Toilet Cleaning Service (LFNTCS) has closed down its Sydney operation and headed North. With a larger variety of toilets available up north (including the standard bowl, pit and behind a tree toilet) to remain at the forefront of toilet hygiene the board decided there was no other logical step to be taken but to pack up the trusty toilet duck and brush, get a full body wax, lube up and get deep inside the far norths toilets. We at Lord Fiendish Nude Toilet Cleaning service are nothing but disgusted. The stench of shit fills our nostrils 10 fold due to the warmer climate but we hold ourselves erect in the stench and let no speck of poo or dark yellow dehydrated urine stain go unpolished. The people of the North really know how to make ablutions and i invite them to get right up close behind me whilst i am down on all fours nude with mine head buried deep inside thy toilets scrubbing, buffing and polishing away. I invite them to not be shy and get some hands on experience, together we can polish the turds off any porcelan poo procurer. For the month of Feb we invite everyone to not flush their toilets and let our technicians tamper with your terrible trouser down dinner dumps for a special price of $39.99 plus handling of poo. So call us now at LFNTCS (Lord Fiendish Nude Toilet Cleaning Service). You start some shit and just like a toilet Mafia we will make it go away.

Hahahahahaha. Hmmm.

I want to congratulate all the staff at LFNTCS (lord fiendish nude toilet cleaning service) on a hard-fought victory here
in Darwin.

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There is something happening when men and women in Darwin and Sydney; in Melbourne and Humpty Doo can share a toilet together in order to do a poo. Because of Lord Fiendish Nude Toilet Cleaning Service people wait in lines that stretch block after block because they believe in what LFNTCS's ''sparkling brightness can provide..

There is something happening when children who are young in age and in spirit - who have never before used anything other than a potty - turn out in numbers we've never seen because they know in their hearts that only a faeces facility cleaned by one of our technitions at LFNTCS will do....when they do a poo.

But in the unlikely story that is LFNTCS (Lord Fiendish Nude Toilet Cleaning Service), there has never been
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Yes we can.

It was a creed written into the grout at the townie toilets ''Grout expectations'' that declared the destiny of a buisness that not only promised ''sparkling brightness'' but one that shines with ''sparkling brightness''. That buisness is Lord Fiendish Nude Toilet Cleaning Service (LFNTCS).

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Legendary.