just wear a festive handbag or soemthing.

My mother has a problem with black dresses at weddings but I've seen them at plenty.

Actually Fe, I went to a Catholic wedding last year - a full on one with a mass and everything - and my friend and I both wore black dresses. I don't think it's a problem.

I'm assuming you mean a festive handbag AND the dress.

The only alternative I have is to wear a red dress, and we all know that red dresses are for harlots.

Wear what you want, get shitfaced. They are the Catholic rules of celebration.

Yes! They'll throw Holy Water on you to cast out the devil.

just pretend you're in mourning. and wear chanel rouge lipstick so you are both mourning and harlot.

I was going to wear red lipstick...

whens the wedding?

the 18th.

its ok to wear black, ive seen it done at every wedding ive been too...however, i would feel a bit wierd about it, and obviously you might too considering you're doubting your dress choice...but alcohol fixes all self doubt.

black is fine. don't wear white. black is great actually, cant go wrong with black.

I'm taking a DATE too. Which is good, because it's basically going to be a bloody high school reunion, and he's big and tall so I can hide behind him.

Don't go up for Communion, even if your dying for a drink and finger food by that stage. It's nearly the end when you get to that part anyways.

What about a white flower in my hair?

Problem is, all of my clothing is black, red or white.

That would look lovely.

Come to think about it it. I was brisdemaid at my sister's full Catholic wedding and wore all black.

only wear white if you're a virgin fe.

that shouldn't be a problem for you. :)

Real flower?

Hahahaha.

No, fake. It's a gardenia, from that little place on the corner in Freo, Spides.

I wore black to a Catholic wedding in Perth back in April and didn't get told off (unless the elderly aunties were bitching behind my back), so I think it's OK. I've also worn black to a Jewish wedding and an Anglican wedding this year... Actually I've worn black to pretty much every wedding I've been to.

when have blowjobs ever been free?

Black to a wedding. Huh.

Why not just tattoo ''WHORE'' on your forehead and walk in waving a bottle of booze and reeking of whiskey?

Fucking hell.

Black to a wedding is like waving a sign saying ''I'm a complete jerk.''

Dudes wear black, the chicks wear nice colours to offset it.

Is red a ''nice'' colour or is it a slutty colour?

My mum gave me this book when I needed help on making a best man's speech - I'm sure it gives fashion advice. I ended up working the book into my speech (which went down a treat). I only found out later on that it wasn't written by that Angela Lansbury.

I don't understand the no dancing rule. I'm sure Irish, Spanish and Italian Catholics have been dancing for years.

Red is for sluts, and make sure you don't wear patient leather shoes. Your 'special' friend, with whom I'm sure you've only have pure wholesome times with, might be tempted to look in your shoes for a reflection of your underwear.

Boys are like that.

They'd have to be INSANELY shiny shoes.

Make sure they're impatient leather shoes.

When i find the tiny book i will check on the dancing rule. It may have been dancing to close, or to slow and sultry or something.....

Dudes wear black, the chicks wear nice colours to offset it.

By God Alex has something there. Get your date to wear colours. Balance restored.

Sneak in your iPod. Those things go for bloody ages.

sneak in manhattan, for the reception

Sure, pick me up at 8?

don't sneak in bad alex, he's a prick.

Why not just tattoo ''WHORE'' on your forehead and walk in waving a bottle of booze and reeking of whiskey?

That's a really good idea. And I am wearing patent shoes.

That's one for day to day, not just weddings.

I really enjoy waving bottles of booze around, as long as none spills.

so did you wear it then? the black with the patent leather?

i had the same conundrum and i went with the black and patent leather and breathed a lovely sigh of relief when the bridesmaids came down the aisle in black dresses too.

i guess it can't be the faux pas we imagined..

Hi trainbucket. Nope, I wore black and pink. PINK.

you probably looked rather hottish.did ya pull?

a simple negative or affirmative will suffice. if it was McBain [ya pulled], like, don't even bother replying.