depressing

it doesn't seem to be an appropriate material for comedy anymore.

Let's face it chicks, from Toorak to Franga you're more likely to die at the hands of your boyfriend than any other way.......

That's what I always tell female friends I know when they get freaked out about walking around at night or whatever.

young men are more likely to be the victims of non-domestic violence than women.

young men are more likely to be the perpetrators of non-domestic violence than women.

blergh, i know that block of flats in toorak

einsturzende neubauten fans are more likely to be the victims of industrial violence.

mmm... i reckon more ladies would die of old age than domestic violence. i reckon cancer in general would be up there too. but those two stories are pretty dsigusting.

kudos, kandos

Luddites were more likely to be the perpetrators of industrial violence, until the mass trial of 1812

from 2005- ABC, 7.30 report transcript...

''According to the survey by Access Economics for the Federal Office of the Status of Women, domestic violence is the biggest single health risk factor for women aged between 15 and 44. It's also the biggest single cause of early death or disability in women. ''

beats cancer but not old age then.

Would you say old age is a cause of death? Maybe cancer, mental illness or even flu would knock off the oldies a bit.

anger management should be a compulsory high school subject.

haha combatting pedantry with pendantry... natural causes then. just sayin' that most people don't die unnaturally.

I don't think anyone technically dies of ''old age''. Old people are just more vulnerable to disease and disorders.

I think I am a very hard girlfriend to live with, I feel sorry for my boyfriend. I keep telling him to go so he doesn't have to put up with my neurosis, but he wants to help.

anger management should be a compulsory high school subject.

And 'Taking responsibility for your own actions'.

Anyway, quibbles aside, it's a pretty depressing news day for this subject (not to mention the abomination in Austria). Folks, if you have a problem, get help.

headsortails, I don't know if you're implying he's violent, but if so, nothing you do justifies it.

Maybe he knows Tae Kwon Do!

It would be the showdown of Hapkido versus Tae Kwon Do!

The fate of rice may be on the line!

MP - you're funny! will decide when i know more details.

Hapkido smashes tae kwon do everytime

dude is going to court next week! woohoo! could be time to call immigration.....

Do it, the less assholes loitering around the better.

but the problem with these kind of cases is that it's always hard to prove on the evidence, as it's generally one word against another.

Don't let that deter you - it was my word against the cops for assault, and I won. Maybe just the process of being arrested/questioned etc will deter the prick from doing it again? Found guilty or not - it will still be on the system won't it?

I'd also call immigration regardless to investigate him.

these people could really help your friend kabuki

or she can call these folk

referring her to the mrs website, is a simple good idea. can help reinforce for her that what is happening is wrong. If he could be convinced to have a look that would be even better.

he got served an AVO and will appear in court next week. amazingly - he can't understand what he's done to deserve it! he got all his friends to call her to ask why she's doing this to him! she seems to be doing ok but just wants to forget the whole thing. i'll pass on these links to her current bf though and maybe he can help her out in a less direct manner.

thanks all

good work kabuki....eh just though...you're in sydney.?. those links are for melbs....but im sure sydney would have an equivalent.
Regardless they would be beneficial websites for your friend to read over.

Just picked up on this thread... kabukiboy, excellent to hear that the guy got served with an AVO. I agree with mic's tips too, WIRE (for women) and MRS (for men) are excellent phone counselling services, especially for people who are in a domestic violence situation but are wary of taking the step to face-to-face counselling. They are in Victoria though. The DoCS DV line looks like a good NSW option. Anyway, hope she's doing OK.

she's going ok but still has some issues to deal with. not unlike many women in this situation she still feels love for the guy and wants to be able to talk and meet with him. we're trying to help her build up her self esteem and self confidence as much as we can. the best outcome right now would be for the guy to get deported so there's no way they would meet again. here's hoping.

Yep: ''He's really not a bad guy, we have a really great time most of the time, he just needs my support and he'll get better. We'll work things out together.'' It's a tough one to argue with, but she's got to put her own safety first. Getting beaten up is not a fair trade-off for ''he's great most of the time''. Anyway, obviously you know this! Sounds like you're doing good stuff, build up her confidence, hopefully she'll gradually come around to understanding things can be different and this dude's not a good bet for her.

Or he could take responsibility for his behaviour and do something about changing it. That is if he wants to have a better relationship with either this woman or the next one....

She wants to help him, I understand, but he is the only one who can be resposible for his actions.

unfortunately i think he's of the belief that he hasn't done anything wrong.

quick question - is he violating the terms of an AVO if he is asking his friends to contact her? i'm guessing yes, but are all AVO's the same?

yes he would be i think. generally you can't ask other people to contact the person on your behalf. text messages, phoning, emails any contact is also breaching the terms. Probably need to check AVO for specific conditions though.

Most men who use violence think they are not to blame. Externalising blame is a defence mechanism. A counsellor can work through that with him.

He is breaching the AVO. An AVO is a civil matter, but if it is breached it becomes a criminal offence.

is he violating the terms of an AVO if he is asking his friends to contact her? i'm guessing yes, but are all AVO's the same?

Lawlink page.

What terms can a final order include?
10.26 A final order “may impose such prohibitions or restrictions on the behaviour of the defendant as appear necessary or desirable”.*45 . Unless otherwise ordered, every AVO prohibits the defendant from intimidating or stalking the protected person.*46 . An order can prohibit the defendant from approaching that person or the person’s home, work or other premises. It can prohibit or restrict any specified behaviour which might affect the protected person. It can also prohibit the possession of firearms.*47 .

Given that the AVO would be just for his name, my guess is that that having other people call her isn't breaking the terms of it, as he's not contacting her directly - unless this sort of contact is specified in the terms of the AVO drawn up.

They should know better, though.

They should probably know better than to beat the fuck out of a woman as well.

It can prohibit or restrict any specified behaviour which might affect the protected person.
This bit means he cant get others to contact her. The terms on all AVO's are the same, they only differ in the length of time in which they are valid (1 yr, 5yrs or 10yrs usually.) There can be specific arrangements made between parties known as 'undertakings.' Undertakings are agreements (not legally binding) that usually involved access to children or other arrangements which make the AVO feasable.
He is in breach for getting people to contact her unless it was a formal agreement made in undertakings and even then any communication should be in writing ie: email, text, snail mail.

Today is White Ribbon Day.

''Come to Fed Square on Thursday for a day full of music, performance, sports stars, stalls and speakers - all raising awareness about family violence.
60 women and 20 children are killed each year in Australia in incidents of family violence homicide. Nearly every week a woman is killed and many more are physically or emotionally abused. Not 1 More remembers these victims and survivors of family violence, and reminds us of the devastating impact of family violence on our community.
Drop in between 10.30am - 8.30pm for a variety of speakers and entertainment.''