I'm not one for parodies, but here's an exception.
Nothing has gone right.
I now need to find more employment urgently, rather than being able to do it at my leisure with no particular financial strain.
I'm ill.
The housemate's friends have used all the dishes, left trash in the garden and even broke a chair. I'm expected to clean it up because I'm the one not out at work all day. I'm the one at home caring for housemate's attention-craving kitten and standing around for hours helping the plumber. Oh, and working to deadlines at home. Doesn't count, see.
And to top it off, my mother can still make me cry. This is the first time she's hung up on me, though.

Can't be arsed checking grammar, spelling, syntax.
The language can get fucked.
the bastards put my rent up AGAIN... I hear you ,Sister.
Sorry to hear that, m'lady.
Aww, that sucks annehelena. My day was shit, too. My boss called in sick AGAIN, my co-worker is working in Brissy for the week, so I was there by myself and clients kept pissing me off with their incessant questioning and I'm overwhelmed by our rubbish new computer system which is more over-complicated and overblown than Young Modern and the only person near my desk talks and talks and talks and talks and talks, etc.
Anyone care to offer me employment? I'm good at stuff.
That just made me smile.
Sorry to hear all this, ladies. I hope this makes you smile too.
at least you're not disabled or in a coma.
I'm pretty fucken ill, you cunt.
how ill out of 10?
Is this too serious for a good old-fashioned ''fuck up sook''?
It could kill me when I'm older. Fuck off.
Er, that was to Jose.
S'OKAY PEOPLE - we's are happy coz we's not got teh cancer. Thanks Jose.
You can tell me to ''fuck off'' too if you'd like.
I just thought it'd been a while since I'd seen a ''fuck up sook''.
Hope you wake up to an awesome world in the morning, anne.
i'm just trying to put things in perspective.
(and obviously not helping)
Do We Know It's Christmas?
I hate today because I got barely any sleep and what sleep I did get was disturbed by a dream of an air strike on Melbourne. And then when I got to work, my boss questioned my time sheet... because I had worked till 9pm last week. Trust me, if I had the option to go home earlier, I would have.
I hate today because I have to do some work after 3 weeks of holiday :(
sorry you're ill anne!
Hope things start looking up for you, Anne.
Another day where my boss / co-worker is out of town. And this person has been calling me non-stop. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
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Today just sucks.
I hate today because I fell asleep late last night wearing my good headphones whilst ''road testing'' my M+N mixswap mix cd. At some point in the night I must have ditched them onto the floor next to my bed. When i woke up and got out of bed, I heard and felt a crack/snap. looked down and saw that I'd totally fucken snapped my headphones in a very unfixable fashion. Fuck. That. Shit.
I hate today because everyone else at work has called in sick.
I hate today because I spent the whole fucking afternoon baking cookies and they taste like fucking shit and I have no idea where I went wrong. Fuck baking. I think I'll stick to cooking the three things I know.
And I only feel worse cuz it was meant to be a favour for my mum so she could take them to some dinner and band thing she was helping to organise.
Fuck today.
Awww....that sucks.
Does indeed. I need something to redeem my day. My dog likes the cookies though. Hmm...
What a shame, all your efforts have gone to waste. I hate when that happens.
Not waste. moo mad em' for the dog. She just didn't know it at the time. Ain't that right moo?
My day today sucked because of first world problems.
Fucking fuck today. Seriously.
First the fucking cookies, now fucking Windows. I installed Win7 on my new hard drive and now the fucker won't boot. And I only decided to give Win7 a go after my XP installation shat itself with 34 mins to go.
Today's evidently a fucking write-off and I shouldn't try to do anything cuz it'll apparently end in fucking disaster. Fuck you world.
I don't really know how to cook, but last time I made these cookies (also the first time I ever made any cookies) they turned out awesome. Was totally crushed today though.
And now this Windows shit. Fuuuuuuck.
This is the way I should look at it. Kostya's now got treats to last a while. At least he's scored and he makes me happy. I should go hug him now and feel better.
I'm sitting here watching the Fightin' Phillies get raped by the fuckin' Cubs.
3-11 bottom of the 7th.
I hate today because wonderful realisations are destroyed by crushing inevitability.
today sucks hard and its only 12.22pm.
i'm leaving work early which would normally be rad, but its for a shitty reason. and my dog died yesterday, so yesterday sucked too.
going to need to blow of some serious steam tonight.
...I was walking along, minding my own business, when my fucking headphone cable sheared straight off the fucking plug. I have no fucking idea how it happened. I walked past a fucking bollard and BAM! Useless headphones.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.
Strutting too hard, obviously.
Collapse Board wasn't a cunt about a record that I like.
stupid ex infecting my mind when he should just fuck off and pretend none of this ever happened, just like i am.
Contender material for POTD.
i have to move out of my own (tiny) office into a temporary portable (tiny) office, this one shared with my boss and another colleague I dislike quite a lot. quite literally sitting on top of each other. in a tiny little portable office. privacy destroyed.