temporarybenbutler said about 4 years ago or at 9:01PM on Wednesday, January 9 2008 in stupidity
Jaymz goes to the Falls Festival.
there were tears in this cynical bastard’s eyes. It was either that or an ex-girlfriend showcasing my tiny nipples to her current beau. Luckily, the previously mentioned beautiful girl looked on bemusedly.
Bummer about his car getting torched, though.
Every time you do Falls, you make a note of items that you’ve got to bring next year. Some years, it’s been “man, could I use some pants,” or, “by god, could I use some cash money.” Last year it was “holy shit, we totally need a fucking gazebo.” Thank bejeebus we heeded our own advice, as that gazebo was the greatest monument in human history. Because, ladies and gentlemen, as you already know, it was hot. Real. Fucking. Hot. Like, the hot where it feels like your arse has taken a beating from a biker with a two-by-four and a grudge against you because you nailed his wife, and the moisture is sucked out of you as quick as with a two dollar hooker. The bands were good, but.
Hahaha.
Operator Please turned the annoyance level up to 11 in front of a paltry crowd sweating it out, presumably wondering where all the pies had disappeared.
thats just mean
I met gurning pill poppers on New years Eve who could have written better copy than that.
I can't believe this guy gets a paycheque for this shit.
you must be one of those old people, Modi
At least it's entertaining, which is what a lot of street press writing never is.
its the best thing written ever
it's better than Anna Karenina!
Hating on Jaymz is so 2005.
I always respect the opinions of a reviewer who doesn't see a particular band but still takes the time to ask someone what they were 'apparently' like. Dickhead.
Does anyone actually care? AND STOP USING THE WORD 'BUT' IN PLACE OF 'THOUGH'.
Oh, look, he got his hands on a wristband. I'm sure if the weather had allowed long sleeves he'd have been one of the pricks that walk around with them rolled up. But just on the wristband arm.
I'm too angry this evening; I might go lie down.
I can't believe this guy gets a paycheque for this shit.
er, he writes for beat.
Yeah but he's actually paid by them now.
he probably wants to (or does) write for Vice
in what, andy? chips?
did he graduate from fasterlouder?
Whatever passes as an editorial salary over there.
I think he edits the Furst Media bar guide.
He sounds like a turd.
I think he edits the Furst Media bar guide
He does indeed.
80085 are you a robot?
He's not a turd.
No shaun, are you? What a peculiar question.
He sounds like one though Andyr.
nah I'm not a robot.
what kind of ridiculous name is jaymz, anyway?
seriously though, live reviews in street press normally follow this step-by-step style:
1) miss out on first act, claim they were awesome judging from audience euphoria
2) spend one lukewarm paragraph on whichever mildly popular local band managed to get a support slot. say they've got potential (even if they've been around for years)
3) get all fanboy over the international headline act without engaging with the reader. rant stupidly about how great they were to fill 500 word limit.
...is this the same Jaymz that was involved in a whole bunch of punk/ska bands in the early 2000s? Jus' wondering.
Jesus. Who cares?
(That was for the thread in general, not any specific post)
blake3030: too much agitation.
nope moos, different jaymz.
though beat editorial did once make that mistake and grant dickhead jaymz an interview with whichever crap band it was at the time, thinking it was then-contributor jaymz.
i like jaymz clemens. he's a stand up guy. with colourful hair.
if jesus doesn't care, who does!
josejones: too much poo
saturation
blake, are you jaymz clemens?
Thankfully not. I don't think I could handle this ridicule.
as is jaymz. think its about time for a new schtick. like actually giving a fuck about what you're writing about.
its a festival, and it was 40 degrees, like anyones gonna be in the state to give a fuck.
surprised we got that much.
mine would've been along the lines of..''so i got to falllssssssssssss uhhhh uhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhh eeek eek eek scratch *poke* ...and i can't wait to do it all again next year!''
I don't care to hear of his tiny nipples. So I've shared the pain (or boredom, depending on your point of view).
though beat editorial did once make that mistake and grant dickhead jaymz an interview with whichever crap band it was at the time, thinking it was then-contributor jaymz.
Oops. I bet they learnt from that mistake. Whodathunk there'd be 2 people called Jaymz in Melbourne...in the music scene.
Thanks for clearing that up TGWCD.
That first paragraph was meant to also be a quote...yeah.
I don't know what he's like as a guy. I have never met the guy. I can't judge with any certainty what kind of a guy he is.
But as a writer, he's absolutely shithouse.
That was my point. I've met some gurning pill poppers who were nice guys, too.
Easily the best way to start a story (the cover story, no less) - prove to the reader your credentials by casually dropping in a couple of references to the two beers you had with the lead singer whilst he furiously studied his Blackberry until you went away.
edits Triple J mag now.
ahhhh was wondering who got that job.