awesome knight

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

They so wanted to taste each other's cocks.

Yeah, the only thing stopping them was the fact they're both married.

because married people don't fuck, right? right?

Unrequited love is a sad thing.

god i'm hard

Well, that was open and honest. Good on you.

haaaaa @ tobes

This just proves smoking shouldnt have been banned from the Tote

tobes you can't claim to have said that! Another chat already admitted to it via PM!

(Which was just so bloody Melbourne, really).

arrgggh foiled via PM

On a tram a few years ago:

Girl: Basically, she's just using you for sex

Guy: Yeah, wicked! I'm so comfortable with that. it's not funny.

no 96 tram...
''Yeah, he's not well, he got shot''
''Yeah? Where?''
''Three times, in the chest''

Btw one of those fighting boys was Paulie. Ha ha.

you blow zadie.

Dude #1 wearing a cardigan with brown loafers at Black Sabbath gig: Hey Man, nice shirt.
Dude #2 wearing original 70's Sabbath Tshirt almost worn right through: * Grunt *
Dude #1, to friends: Fuck. I'd better not talk to anyone here dressed like this, that guy was totally going to kill me.
Girl #1: Yeah fuck some guy pointed at my dress and laughed out loud at it! I mean, look at that dude! If they are going to hassle anyone it should be him!
Girl #1 points at guy wearing white sneakers and very gay shirt, (aka regular horse).

Hey you didn't have to agree Paulie. Anyway you said via PM you didn't care.

You should enjoy your new status as a crazy chat.

Job done

ey as good a story as that is, I would never believe anything Zadie says.

Yeah, love you too horse.

Tradie on his mobile last week during Melbourne's random 'heat' wave.
''Mate! How good is this weather? Fuck mate soon the girls will be out in short skirts and we'll be sorted. Maaaate.''

Isn't that how tradies always talk?

At local footy today, as a visitor lined up just inside 50:

''YOU KICK LIKE SARAH BLASKO!''

Was way harsh. (Also, hilarious.)

''MUM, did you fucking call Anita?! I only have 4 grams, what the fuck am I going to smoke tonight!!!!''

Shifty looking character in Altona.

''I didn't know the bitch was that fat!''

Frumpy looking girl across the table from me in the Uni library.

''Hay what soize are your feet? Coz if you're like a size noine you can always borrow my shoes''.

One drunk, flailing, high-heeled girl to the other, leaving the Old Bar on Sat night.

Walking like spiders they were.

Bloke talking to another bloke on train:

''a lot of guys our age go for hawthorn and a lot of Asians. They really pushed that hard.''

?????

idiot streaming the idiots in Melbourne

''welcome to the trenches''

Heard said to a little boy around 4 years old, from woman taking pram into public toilets...

W: So you stay out here and wait.

B: But Mum...

W: When I tell you something, fucking do it.

hahahaha

Exiting the massive Cresco's in Docklands, one guy says to his mate,

''You know the one thing they don't have?...''

what was the one thing they dont have?

yeah?

from english girl who has been here a few months and wants to live here:

''does Australia have its own army?''

Oh, that's good. Hahaha.

Shouted in pure ocker accent:

WELL I CAN'T FUCKEN PLAY CHOPIN (pronounced correctly) ON THE FUCKEN PIANO SO THAT MUST MEAN I'M NOT GAY OR JEWISH.

The other week, outside Pope Joan, my sister overheard some middle-aged, lyrca-clad cycling dickhead loudly declaring to his friends that ''pork belly is SO over''.

''Where can a nietzscheist vegan get a low-fat Falafel around here?''

''I could never order weight watchers because I hate being told what to do. But I only eat twice a day and I still enjoy my wine.....and baileys.....and Bacardi....and beer''

Says the 4 foot tall 160kg over 50yo troll from dandenong to her friend at the super market.

LOL! Great thread idea. I'm going to have to start taking notes

Dude in the car next to me at the traffic lights talking loudly into phone:

''Mate, look, I'm sorry I punched ya. But I was real angry that day.''