Dear USC

you didn't have to go all fucking cold on me just because i let the secret out

teenybopper

sincerely

'Verb

the same one that was planning to visit verbs?

Dear verb,

Juicy secret?

hippers

TGWCD - nope, she's still coming :D

Hipo - nope, secret as in secret crush, that was the secret. Took 11 pints of ale for me to let it out though. She seemed fine when i was speaking to her then, but today i got the cold shoulder.

11 pints? That's heroic. ;)

oh that sucks verbs. well not about the visiting one, that's tops, but about the usc. teeny bopper.

i was at a multi-millionaire's party to celebrate the sale of his business and he's a bit of a beer buff. There was 700 pints of various real ales and 400 pints of locally produced cider.

there were 100 people in attendance.

cheers TGWCD.

we used to get on so bloody well too.

Dear USC,

Don't be dancin' through my dreams like that when you know you're taken. If he didn't treat you so bad I wouldn't have this hope that you might one day come to your senses. You're better than him!

Mostly nice,

Bergs.

you gotta watch out for that, bergs. Dreams do annoying things sometimes.

Dear USC Thread,

you're cute, and sexy, and I have to post in you so you're easier to find. That way I can read you and go ''aaaaawwwwwwww'' when my friends post cute love notes to the ether.

Love ya guts out,

Alter xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

dear alter,

just favourite the thread. that way it's always to hand.

incidentally, I find this thread both cute and depressing but can't help looking at it and wondering how my friends get crushes all. the. freaking. time. when I pretty much never get them. meh. I suppose.

yours uncrushingly,

dear elaine,

i know i could favorite, but i like to post. and maybe you're not crushing because everyone's crushing on you? maybe it's the universe balancing things out....

love alter

nah. people don't crush on me, alts (or if they do it's very rare). I'm not that sort of girl. 32 years experience talkin'.

shrug it doesn't bother me though.

but i think it's cute that other people crush lots.

dear unattainable secret crush,

let's face it, we're both unattainable... but that little moment, completely outside of our normal realities, was pretty magical, don't you think?

yours, kind of mournfully,
trumpeter swan.

dear unattainable secret crush

this crush is starting to really hurt. i can't sleep. i cried about you last night while lying next to my partner of 13 years. there is nothing i can do. i can't leave
and anyway i would be no good with you. i look as your sad brown eyes and they seem to really see how trapped and alone i am. i want to touch you and find out all about you. the thing is it would only be good for a short time. i would miss my partner and feel so guilty and i couldn't make you happy. can't really have sex that well because i was fucked too much as a child. there is nowhere for me to go with this. it just stays in me like everything. but i love you.

ending, that is so sad. i want to have a hug with you but i don't suppose it would help.

thank you trumpeter swan.

Dear Unattainable Secret Crush,

The worst thing about this USC thread is that it makes me think that some crushes should stay secret and that some crushes are unattainable. Here's to making crushes from now on unsecret and totally attained.

Carpe diem and all that rubbish.

lmx.

Dear secret crush,

The other night I dreamt that I really wanted to be with you, but you were unattainable because you were my cousin [in the dream, people, in the dream]. Weird.

I wsh you'd made a move on me. It might be too late now, you know.

Susanne

Do you have grey pubes too, Block?

*But seriously, gentlemen - what is it about men in their late 20s-early 30s? Why are they such fuckheads?

''I really like this girl, but she doesn't fit in with the whole 'I want to be a single stud' thing, so she's gotta go, even though we really both like each other quite a bit.''

ARGH*

I feel your pain Lilo.

It's really fucking frustrating!

Tell me about it. It gets really boring after a while too.

Maybe we should date men in their 60s?

hehehe, maybe. I've got a friend who did that. Well... not quite 60 but he did have a daughter that was younger than her.

monogomy isnt the be all and end all.

And how did that work out for her?

No.. I want a man who'll give me babies. A 60-year-old isn't going to want to have babies, and he won't be around when they're older either.

Seems to be going ok as far as I can tell. I think she just got over hanging out in 20 something boys bedrooms surrounded by piles of porn listening to them moan about how bad their life was because their dog died or something.

Charlie Chaplin had babies when he was 73.

No.. I want a man who'll give me babies. A 60-year-old isn't going to want to have babies, and he won't be around when they're older either.

This guy seems to be happy to try and give her babies.

Its not men that have problems having babies late.

No, but I don't want to be left raising the kids when my 65 year old partner dies of a heart attack while fucking the maid. For example.

Yeah, that's a fair point.

This needs a new thread, I reckon.
Or a 60 year old thread, if you prefer.

you start it, go on!

You haven't answered my question yet, either.

sorry, we have hijaked it haven't we

It'll be OK, we just have to stick to the ''dear'' format.

Dear USC,

When my evil plan comes to fruition and we finally hook up please don't be one of those 'I can't be your boyfriend even though I like you lots because the committment is just too much' boys.

Thanks in advance

Clarebear