All You Need is You : Pro-DIY Dogma
Some people upon hearing the two words 'Talkshow Boy' will gag a little. Thats kinda funny because as far as Im concerned I havent done anything wrong. Maybe its just that those people dont like my music thats absolutely okay (and really funny). I dont have a problem with that at all nah I hate a bunch of stuff. I sometimes get cut, however, when people raise issue with my modes of performance and releasing music. People see me shouting along to the laptop and theyre all like, Oh, man! This is so electroclash! 2001 came and went! Hes not even doing anything. Balls to that tude, dude! Talkshow Boy is not a coked-up hot-pink leech milking electroclash for cred, not clinging to some passing fad. Ive got some things to say. Some naysayers dis me for not ripping up a DSP storm to hell with realtime tweakage, there are enough people doing that, and theyre doing it far better than I can (and more power to em). I just want to sing my damn songs and share my messages, music, stories and wordplayability with a crowd no matter how nave and self-righteous I may seem in the process. Ultimately I want to party with my friends. Everyone likes a party. Even suicidal goths party, what with their PVC and VNV and all that.
Im twenty years old and thankfully I know shit-all about the music industry. Thats why I made my own.
There are not enough bands. There are too many bands. There are not enough bands. There are not enough solo artists, even though theyre everywhere. There are too many. There are not enough. There is no reason why you shouldnt make music if you want to. If you suck at music, dont quit. Turn your sucky symphony louder. If your music is poor, youll get better with time and practice. Maybe not. At any rate, JUST DO IT. People will vomit up lies. Some say punks dead. Some believe nobody has anything new to contribute that any musical output you toil over, cough up and offer to the world will be stale. Forget that. It came from you, and deep down you know youre beautiful. Honey.
There is no reason why you cant be your own superstar. If you can speak, you can make music. Its that simple. If you happen to be mute, clap your hands you silent beauty. If youve got a computer with net access, you can download software, samples and general music-making bullshit for no cost. Absolutely everything you need is at your fingertips. If you know what youre doing, thats great! If you dont, even better! Jump in and drown in your own low sound. Get on SoulSeek and pretend youre the KLF. POWER TO THE PEOPLE! FIGHT THE POWER! Pilfer one-shot samples left, right and centre. If you distort your source material enough nobody will notice anyway and youll look hard. Especially if youre underweight like me, then youll look REALLY hard. But we all know that ultimately its not about how you look ... its about how you sound. Youll sound pretty hard too. That said, you will have a bigger following if you dress cool and act cold. Its a fact and its sad. People will come to your shows, pretend to like your music and hound you for coke and oral. Not nice.
If youre making music, dont be tight. Theres simply no excuse. I bet youre sick of people ripping you off, arent you? If youve got a CD burner, wear it out. If youve made a little charm of a release and youre happy with it, rip that shit to CD-R and get it fucking out there. Flashy packaging and printed sleeves look nice, but sod it. Its all too expensive, really. There is absolutely nothing shameful about releasing a CD-R in a cutnpaste photocopied jacket. You can do it and you should. Decorate away, you can still make it look ritzy on a budget. Dont call it a demo. Its not a demo. Youre better than that. Its a full-fledged release. Unsigned? Fuck it. Make your own label up. Get your friends involved too many cooks means more broth. Its all good so long as nobody has any idea what theyre doing or what theyre getting themselves into. You dont need an ABN because its not a business its a collective. Businesses are about success, profit and waking up too early for shit you dont want to do. This is about your music your way. You wont make any money anyway. CD-Rs can be exchanged for beers, comics, slow-dances, et cetera. There are many advantages to setting up a website, and webspace is so easy to come by. Whoring yourself out on myspace and similar sites is fun and useful because, firstly, you can. Secondly, it gives your music worldwide exposure (theoretically, anyway). Thirdly, everyone under the sun tries to look too-cool-for-school in their profiles and its REALLY REALLY FUNNY. Lastly, thirty years down the track youll see yourself as a footnote in a first-year sociology textbook (Wow! Wow! Disco and her contemporaries loved the Royal Tenenbaums, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and hottness in general, mang). Have a ridiculous number of free-for-download MP3s on your site. Chuck whole releases up there in high-quality its no skin off your nose and people will love you for it. I mean, you know you love it ... right? Encourage people to redistribute your music if youre against that idea, it simply means that you love money more than music. This may sound nave (laugh all you want!) but if you can release a CD-R for next to nothing, it doesnt hurt the bank if someone else makes an extra copy ... In fact, you get double YOUR moneys worth two releases out there for the price of making one. Forget CopyControl, CopyOuttaControl. Seriously! Im sick of this guff! Oh, and if youve got a home, youve got a venue. If youve got friends, youve got a show. You dont need me to tell you how to put on a barbecue. Do it. Just do it. Ill come. Well party.
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