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Worst Album Covers 2012

MAX EASTON counts down the worst of local album covers of the year.

The Presets – Pacifica
If you were ever of the opinion that The Presets’ music had no balls, then there’s the graphical proof that the band doesn’t either.

The Angels – Take it to the Streets
While Doc Neeson didn’t sing on this record, it’s a little known fact that he designed the cover.

Axxon – Beyond Light
The cruel beast of font selection strikes again.

Alpine – A is for Alpine
None of these could ever possibly be effective game plans on the soccer field.

Bits of Shit – Cut Sleeves
Not only is the dog completely arbitrary, but it doesn’t even have cut sleeves!

Muscles – Manhood
Poor Muscles.

The Temper Trap – The Temper Trap
Turns out that Temper Trap’s rise to a stadium band now makes them rich enough to afford colour-altering splooge medication.

Ladyhawke – Anxiety
Wherein Pip Brown goes through her bohemian phase and cultivates tiny selves in her dreads.

Lisa Mitchell – Bless This Mess
I guess the giant marketing budget got spent on radio ads?

The Saints – King of the Sun
I blame Rai Thistlethwayte.

Oh Mercy – Deep Heat
Some would call this potentially iconic, or masterful, or some other adjective with greater than six letters, and that’s pretty much why the cover is on this list.

Van She – Idea of Happiness
Clearly, the art department at Modular believes in meeting in the middle.

John Butler – Tin Shed Tales
Also in the running to win awards for “Worst Album Title” and “Stupidest Hat on an Album Cover”.

Monks of Mellonwah – Neurogenesis
The logical conclusion to the characters of Microsoft’s Clip Art is reached. (Drawing objects still impossibly difficult to align properly.)

And 2012’s winner for Worst Album Cover…

Reece Mastin – Beautiful Nightmare

  -   Published on Monday, December 31 2012 by Max Easton.
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Your Comments

electricsound  said about 2 years ago:

Poor Muscles.


MelonHCST  said about 2 years ago:

Having only heard one, I'm gonna say Jamie Hay's King Of The Sun is better than The Saints' King Of The Sun.

bumhead  said about 2 years ago:

At first I thought the Presets were jerking each other off...

electricsound  said about 2 years ago:

was a day that's what they would have wanted you to think

Ben  said about 2 years ago:

Ghostface  said about 2 years ago:

What's wrong with Reece Mastin's face?

electricsound  said about 2 years ago:

too much mastin'

astrousersasmind  said about 2 years ago:

Alpine shouldn't be on this list but no complaints with the winner.

black wasp!  said about 2 years ago:

I don't hate the Temper Trap one. I hate all the rest though.

TimChuma  said about 2 years ago:

Thought you weren't allowed to hock the same article to two competing sites?

magicpants  said about 2 years ago:

Next year get someone funny to write the captions.

crackwhore  said about 2 years ago:

Pip Brown looks nothing like her albumn cover.

temporarybenbutler  said about 2 years ago:

Van She – Idea of Happiness

Hang on, Van She continue to exist? JOY.

monkeyman  said about 2 years ago:

I didn't know that the Muscles album actually came out, or that Van She still exist either...

temporarybenbutler  said about 2 years ago:

Van She even released an incredibly pretentious video starring a German internet celebrity.

temporarybenbutler  said about 2 years ago:

...they really are gloriously awful.

monkeyman  said about 2 years ago:

I'm too scared to click on that link. Sorry Ben.

temporarybenbutler  said about 2 years ago:

It's just a man in just a g-string. You've seen worse on tour.

anok  said about 2 years ago:

song and clip are fine. i now like van she more than before. nice work ben.

spaceman1  said about 2 years ago:

Could not care less about Van She, but thank you for introducing me to the magic of String Emil.


temporarybenbutler  said about 2 years ago:

Song? There was a song?

temporarybenbutler  said about 2 years ago:


Velodrone  said about 2 years ago:

The Temper Trap cover reminds me a lot of this...

richieramone  said about 2 years ago:

Quite poor journalism M+N and Max Easton. I can excuse the fact you've re-posted an article that was originally published 10 days earlier on Fasterlouder. What I can't excuse is that Max Easton ignored my comments posted on the opening page of the Fasterlouder list, which explains why the dog on the Bits of Shit cover isn't ''arbitrary'' and puts the denim jacket into context:

BITS OF SHIT CUT SLEEVES. Not only is the dog completely arbitrary, but it doesnt even have cut sleeves!

Definition of arbitrary: 1.Based on random choice or personal whim, rather than any reason or system.

The dog isn't ''arbitrary'', it's Joanie, guitarist Andrews dog which died around the time the album was recorded (or just before), and the record is co-dedicated to her.

Cut Sleeves is a reference to Afrika Bambaataa. With a little research, whoever originally (before Max copies the article) declared the Bits of Shit 'Cut Sleeves' LP dog as ''completely arbitrary'' might read this and retract their stupid claim:

80085  said about 2 years ago:

even with context it's not a great album cover. it is sad about the dog though.

Ghostface  said about 2 years ago:

Hello 80085!

flukazoid  said about 2 years ago:

Wow, richieramone - settle down a bit. The album's out in the general public, not everyone has to like the cover.

But more importantly, you might want to consider that great album covers speak to people regardless of whether they understand or know the deeply nuanced backstory or even the music inside. If a cover comes across as crap unless you ''get'' all of that extra context then, well, maybe it's crap after all.

mule  said about 2 years ago:

Dont think it deserves to be in the worst of list but yeah, its not great

anonymous  said about 2 years ago:

good record though.

gabbo  said about 2 years ago:

i really like Rona's art. Don't think the Bits of Shit cover is bad, and i'm sure many, many other covers could enter this fray.

prince  said about 2 years ago:

I had no idea of the meaning behind the bits of shit cover, but that cover is fantastic, but hey i like dags

rosevich  said about 2 years ago:

I aspire to have multiple covers in the 2013 end-of-year list

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