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Track by Track: Jonny Telafone

JONNY TELAFONE talks us through his brave, courageous and tough new self-titled compilation. Also featuring the premiere of Jonny’s ‘Spirit Man’ video.



‘Spirit Man’

‘Spirit Man’ is about a man who notices a life-producing spirit man outside his house … he doesn’t want to let him in but the spirit man forces the door and creates heaps of life and then kills the man and then the man goes to Spirit Land which is the new, official, non-denominational afterlife. It is an incredibly brave song.


Jonny Telafone- Spirit Man from Chapter Music on Vimeo.


‘Don’t Make Me Wait’

‘Don't Make Me Wait’ is a very courageous song about stalking.


‘Doomed In Love’

‘Doomed In Love’ is a sad but incredibly brave love song. It’s about wanting to be in love with someone who you don't love.


‘Make Your Pussy Cum’

This song is a courageous song about making a lady cum.


‘Time’

This one’s a brave look at the irreversible and infinite nature of time and the universe. Did time exist before the Big Bang? Will it always exist? I am not qualified to answer these questions, but at least I’m brave enough to ask them.


‘Broken Hearts Are Hard To Fix’’

Broken hearts are to fix, but it can be done. You will need to do a lot of drinking and drugs. Avoid pornography if you can, and listen to lots of music that makes you feel tough.


‘Burning Hot Like Jesus Was’

‘Burning Hot Like Jesus Was’ is about crucifying yourself for the benefit of a crowd but ultimately realizing that what you’ve done is nothing that important or special … because what you've actually done is just degraded yourself emotionally and sometimes even physically. Having said that, degradation is sexy and I love it.


‘Pitter Patter’

My mum likes this song. Old people like this song.


‘Stardate’

‘Stardate’ is about the end of the world, which is supposed to be December 21, 2012 … I don't think anything will happen except for my record launch, which is on that night at the Gasometer. You can buy this record for 15 dollars. It has a 4-song vinyl and a 20-song CD. It’s an amazing and incredibly brave record, so bring money.


‘Down in the Valley’

I think ‘Down in the Valley’ is about working out.


‘Drowning In The Lake’

‘Drowning In The Lake’ is about Lake Macquarie, which I grew up next to. Named after Governor Macquarie, of whom I am directly descended. Bodies of water are relaxing, and this song is about walking out into the water and drowning yourself. Apparently drowning is not a pleasant way to die, so I wouldn’t recommend it.


‘Can We Pretend A Little Longer’

This song has has probably the best lyrics I have ever written. I couldn’t think of a second verse as good as the first so it just kind of repeats which is kind of boring I guess, but it’s pretty sad and intense so I don’t care fuck you.


‘Dead In The Sega’

‘Dead In The Sega’ is a song about a paedophile on the prowl. The guitar riff and song idea came from my friend Christ Tobin, of many great Canberra bands. It’s very brave.


‘Until My Lungs Explode’

‘Until My Lungs Explode’ is inspired by a short story by Winston Churchill called ‘Man Overboard’, where a man falls out of a boat that’s crossing the Red Sea. He tries to swim after it for a while and yells and screams, but he slowly realises that he is definitely going to die.


‘But Love Could Make Us’

‘But Love Could Make Us’ is about crushing on someone. It is an incredibly courageous song.


‘All I Ever Want’

‘All I Ever Want’ asks the question: What is love all about? It’s a very brave song.


‘Only Temporary Things’

‘Only Temporary Things’ is a very sad song. Getting tired of this by now, surely no one is reading this far … I think I can pretty much write whatever I like. So if you are still reading, my record is only 15 dollars and has great artwork by the very talented Odette Fiedeldy. It is an instant classic with 20 beautiful and courageous songs about life. Buy it now.


‘ Transparent Love’

‘Transparent Love’ … Buy my record today! Only 15 dollars.


‘The End’

‘The End’ is a very sad song. Everything ends one way or another. There is no escape.


‘Still Sleeping’

‘Still Sleeping’ … the meaning of this song is a secret, because I can't be bothered to make one up … good-bye and buy this record.


Jonny Telafone Launch Dates (all $10):
Fri, Dec 21 – Gasometer Hotel, Melbourne VIC (with Montero, Repairs and Zone Out)
Fri, Jan 4 – Terrace Bar, Newcastle NSW
Thu, Jan 10 – FBI Social, Sydney NSW (with Bored Nothing and Black Zeros)


Jonny Telafone is out now through Chapter.

  -   Published on Thursday, December 20 2012 by Edward Sharp-Paul.
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Your Comments

anok  said about 1 year ago:

someone should write a song called 'still seeping'.


ChapterMusic  said about 1 year ago:

attendance at Jonny's launch shows is mandatory.
you don't want to have to explain to your grandchildren that you were a lame-ass and missed out.


mule  said about 1 year ago:

not sure i'm brave enough


woolfat  said about 1 year ago:

yeah, not sure i could sit through that again.


ChapterMusic  said about 1 year ago:

nobody sits during a Jonny Telafone show; they dance, they make love, they laugh, they cry, THEY LIVE!


rawr  said about 1 year ago:

telafone roolz.


woolfat  said about 1 year ago:

they cringe


anok  said about 1 year ago:

what happened last time woolfat?


woolfat  said about 1 year ago:

it's just not my thing - i get that others like it, but i'm not really into a shirtless guy gyrating on stage, singing about how to make women cum (and yeah, i get that its humour for some... but as i mentioned, not my thing)


magicpants  said about 1 year ago:

Did time exist before the Big Bang?

According to Stephen Hawking, no.


checkers  said about 1 year ago:

I... wow.


birdslovefighting  said about 1 year ago:

Best. Ever.


anok  said about 1 year ago:

I just re-read this because I'm in love with him.


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