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Dave Graney: Hottest 100 Pt 2

DAVE GRANEY belatedly weighs in on triple j’s fiercely debated Hottest 100 Of All Time. Parts one (1-50) here.

51. Smashing Pumpkins: ‘Bullet With Butterfly Wings’
All time!

52. You Am I: ‘Berlin Chair’
I applaud any Australian act who has penetrated the mob skull this far. I love going to their gigs and the tension as the audience wants this song and the band try not to enjoy playing it. It’s got energy!

53. Pink Floyd: ‘Comfortably Numb’
Get out! More pretend-y stoner stuff from the accountants rock band of choice.

54. The Cure: ‘Close To Me’
The singer never got over puberty. Sad sack!

55. Bob Dylan: ‘Like A Rolling Stone’
Yes, it's almost worth all the bullshit talk about it.

56. Jeff Buckley: ‘Lover, You Should Have Come Over’ His third entry! Of all time!

57. Tool: ‘Forty Six & 2’
Great band name.

58. Daft Punk: ‘Around The World’
Not bad if you’re stoned or watching a sports show.

59. Augie March: ‘One Crowded Hour’
I applaud any Australian act who has penetrated the mob skull this far.

60. Johnny Cash: ‘Hurt’
I applaud all his early rockabilly and pop work. All of which shits on that awful late period creepy deathbed stuff.

61. Blur: ‘Song 2’
Why not?

62. Nine Inch Nails: ‘Closer’
Yeah, it’s nasty!

63. AC/DC: ‘Thunderstruck’
Rubbish! Bring back Bon!

64. Violent Femmes: ‘Blister in the Sun’
Too many songs about wanking. Leave it out!

65. Underworld: ‘Born Slippy’
Dopey drug shit.

66. Elton John: ‘Tiny Dancer’
Elton crap ouweighs the Elton good. Get him out of here.

67. Ben Folds Five: ‘Brick’
A triple j fave. Not real good, not real funny.

68. Blink 182: ‘Dammit’
Yankee punk. Lousy.

69. Jeff Buckley: ‘Grace’
Number four. Go away!

70. The Prodigy: ‘Breathe’
Yeah, they’re nasty too.

71. The Smiths: ‘How Soon Is Now?’
Their best song. Great Bo Diddley grooves. Where's Bo?

72. The Shins: ‘New Slang’
Never heard of them.

73. The Clash: ‘London Calling’
Not as funny as their best. Before Joe got his teeth fixed.

74. Nirvana: ‘Lithium’
Number three already.

75. Green Day: ‘Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)’
Nursery rhyme goofy shit.

76. The Stone Roses: ‘Fools Gold’
Yes. A real one-off classic.

77. Gotye: ‘Hearts A Mess’
I applaud any Australian act who has penetrated the mob skull this far.

78. Smashing Pumpkins: ‘Today’
They are not that charming really.

79. David Bowie: ‘Life on Mars’
I would have had five or six Bowie tracks. Can’t argue with this. “All time”, remember?

80. The Rolling Stones: ‘Paint It Black’
This is a weird one. The Brian Stones. Why not?

81. Pulp: ‘Common People’
Yeah, Jarvis is a cat. It’s got drama.

82. System Of A Down: ‘Chop Suey!’
No idea about this.

83. Placebo: ‘Every You Every Me’
Bad goth copy several generations later.

84. Bob Marley & The Wailers: ‘No Woman, No Cry’
A sentimental track, I would have gone for something more bouncy by The Wailers.

85. The Dandy Warhols: ‘Bohemian Like You’
Yeah, they’re groovers.

86. The Beatles: ‘Come Together’
Not bad. For the Beatles.

87. Coldplay: ‘Yellow’
Too big already.

88. The Rolling Stones: ‘Gimme Shelter’
Great chord sequence. Great vibe.

89. Rage Against the Machine: ‘Bulls On Parade’
They’ve already got a guernsey. Jersey for you NSW people.

90. Kings of Leon: ‘Sex on Fire’
Good subject and they look better since they dropped the fake beards.

91. AC/DC: ‘Back In Black’
No.

92. Bon Iver: ‘Skinny Love’
No. Yankee bearded woodcore sad sack. His girlfriend left him and he went to a cold barn. How lame a story is that?

93. Massive Attack: ‘Unfinished Sympathy’
Yes, a classic.

94. Modest Mouse: ‘Float On’
No. Mediocre Yankee schmindie pop. The Floaters had a hit called this. Every member of the band stepped forward to introduce himself and say what his starsign was. They're black though. No entry here!

95. Stevie Wonder: ‘Superstition’
A stone-cold classic – from the groove to the bass sound to the lyrics. Written for Jeff Beck, but so good Stevie had to do it himself.

96. Daft Punk: ‘One More Time’
Of all time?

97. Midnight Oil: ‘Beds Are Burning’
I applaud any Australian act who has penetrated the mob skull this far.

98. Led Zeppelin: ‘Kashmir’
Great drums and the mellotron. Of course!

99. TV on the Radio: ‘Wolf Like Me’
No.

100. Franz Ferdinand: ‘Take Me Out’
Yeah, they ripped off a lot of good people and sold it all over again.

+

Dave Graney started to write songs in the post-punk period when ideology and self expression and mythology were all screwed up and meeting head on. He currently plies his trade in the Lurid Yellow Mist and recently released a solo album, Knock Yourself Out. His column appears monthly.

  -   Published on Wednesday, September 23 2009 by Darren Levin.
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Your Comments

JRB  said about 2 years ago:

Good onya Dave.


Goal attack  said about 2 years ago:

101. flim flam

It's tenuous


Block  said about 2 years ago:

It's deja-vu all over again.


raven  said about 2 years ago:

His third entry! Of all time!

This is genuinely funny.

80. The Rolling Stones: ‘Paint It Black’
This is a weird one. the Brian Stones. Why not?

This is a weird comment. In what universe is ''Paint It Black'' not going to appear in a top-whatever list? Why's it weird, Dave?

I get that some people care about Dave Graney, but I just don't think there's enough humour there, and you know, the stuff he doesn't know is quite surprising, and I just don't care whether he doesn't like TVOTR, or does like Massive Attack.


Modi  said about 2 years ago:

I'm not a Dave Graney fan, never have been, I still reckon it's amusing.


kellyclarksonisgold  said about 2 years ago:

hmmm on Kashmir. Look ok Kashmir rocks but I don't gettit. Like stairway when Bonham kicks in and the drum stool is squeeking and he's pushing that baby down the road I still melt. shit fuck listening to the song or the guitar or the words, it's just that beat. Kashmir is good but it's tighter than stairway, man and the stairway fills fuck me!.

anyway fuck knows what I'm saying but ok stairway is the cliche of all times but well fuck I love dem drums. so I dunno about slagging stairway, yeah slag it, but those drums!

yeah and mellotron rules. so ramble on...


Mo  said about 2 years ago:

i agree with a bunch here


toadphoney  said about 2 years ago:

What an anti-climax.


anok  said about 2 years ago:

chuckled at the tool thing. less shit than the first 50.


blake3030  said about 2 years ago:

His girlfriend left him and he went to a cold barn.

Only good bit. I laughed.


anok  said about 2 years ago:

oh yeah that was great.


Zaphod  said about 2 years ago:

What's a Dave Graney? I cannot applaud any Australian act who has failed to penetrate the mob skull this far.


Modi  said about 2 years ago:

It's funny you should say that, I always thought he was from Sydney, until it was pointed out that he lived in Melbourne.


tinyman  said about 2 years ago:

What an anti-climax.

well no, we eagerly await untold/animals' response.


untold/animals  said about 2 years ago:

It isn't coming.


whatwhat  said about 2 years ago:

i love the way that every time he complains about no black artist representation one pops up straight under.


Kez  said about 2 years ago:

he's from Mt Gambier, originally. I guess that means Adelaide to us Eastern-staters.


FrankieTeardrop  said about 2 years ago:

Of all time!


spankin77  said about 2 years ago:

toadphoney said 47 minutes ago:
What an anti-climax.

I agree... I was expecting more whinging and moaning in this thread


loveparade  said about 2 years ago:

not funny. not clever. not insightful. not anything


FrankieTeardrop  said about 2 years ago:

You are...


kellyclarksonisgold  said about 2 years ago:

just more on kashmir and stairway..and enter blah blah for 20 paragrphs.

blah blah les paul blah double neck sg blah b;lah


muleboy  said about 2 years ago:
  1. The Beatles: ‘Come Together’
    Not bad. For the Beatles.

ha ha ha.


Alright  said about 2 years ago:

OF ALL TIME!

nice work dave. forget the haters. its the internet! pointless lists are what this thing is invented for!


Texaco  said about 2 years ago:

untold/animals said 1 hour ago: It isn't coming.

Awwww!


tinafabulous  said about 2 years ago:

I like that Dave can't be bothered researching those he doesn't know.


Ben  said about 2 years ago:

so much for writing about australian music


FrankieTeardrop  said about 2 years ago:

It's a compilation released by ''Australia's Youth Broadcaster'', and a list voted for by Australians. It includes some Australian music.


the power of 666  said about 2 years ago:

Dave Graney loves applauding any Australian act who has penetrated the mob skull this far.


Gorn  said about 2 years ago:

Funny stuff. The list is an absolute joke.


blake3030  said about 2 years ago:

It's a compilation released by ''Australia's Youth Broadcaster'', and a list voted for by Australians. It includes some Australian music.

I think ben was referring to the comment Dave applied to each and every Australian song, hence not actually writing anything about australian music.


boner m.  said about 2 years ago:

someone oughta fwd the H100 to mark prindle


adamdmills  said about 2 years ago:

Not real good, not real funny.

yep.

also, if dave fancies himself a columnist for this fine publication, he'd better start learning how to use a fucking apostrophe.


boner m.  said about 2 years ago:

pfft, some of these soundbites are gold. if it was someone less douchey writing this you'd all be all over it. c'mon...

Yankee bearded woodcore sad sack.

GOLD, i say.


cheezel  said about 2 years ago:

boner m. said 8 hours ago:
pfft, some of these soundbites are gold. if it was someone less douchey writing this you'd all be all over it. c'mon...

Yankee bearded woodcore sad sack.

GOLD, i say.

AGREED


mrb  said about 2 years ago:

yep, perfect.


shaun  said about 2 years ago:

someone oughta fwd the H100 to mark prindle

yes.


musojourno  said about 2 years ago:

Placebo - ''Bad goth copy several generations later''

Not entirely true but LOL


jbahsavvy  said about 2 years ago:

Once again, i love DG.


Ben  said about 2 years ago:

It's a compilation released by ''Australia's Youth Broadcaster'', and a list voted for by Australians. It includes some Australian music.

I think ben was referring to the comment Dave applied to each and every Australian song, hence not actually writing anything about australian music.

Yes, I was blake


FrankieTeardrop  said about 2 years ago:

Well, I'd be hardpressed to come up with anything more to say about the above-mentioned releases. They exist - fair enough.


gus+  said about 2 years ago:

''Yankee bearded woodcore sad sack. His girlfriend left him and he went to a cold barn. How lame a story is that?''

This is a big win.


mule  said about 1 month ago:
  1. Bon Iver: ‘Skinny Love’
    No. Yankee bearded woodcore sad sack. His girlfriend left him and he went to a cold barn. How lame a story is that?

Ha!

I know i'm late to the party but happy i found this list - it reminds me that critics generally aren't funny enough. Oi critics, loosen up! No one gives a shit if studied journalism at uni or you're trying to write a novel, just keep it real, eh?


mrb  said about 1 month ago:

these are really funny. nice to re-read. Woodcore stuff is still hilarious


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